IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. 1) Explain the reason for using a bicycle to commute 2) what problems have you encountered with parking 3) what are your recommendations to solve the problem

#work #bicycle #reason #recommendations
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to bring your attention to the unavailability of parking space for bicycles in your building. I am hoping that you will solve it as soon as possible.
Due to
 the road repair work going on beside our office, there is heavy jam during the morning hours.
Therefore
, I have switched from my private
car
 to a "two-wheeler"
instead
.
Furthermore
,
this
 would
also
 help me contribute to mitigating the detrimental impact of air pollution caused
due to
 CO2 emissions from a
car
. There is adequate space provided for cycles,
however
, the
car
 owners park their vehicles in these spaces
instead
. Unfortunately , I have to spend my time searching for parking spots which has led me to be late to work on multiple occasions. It would be great if you displayed a notice in the area asking the
car
 owners to park their vehicles in designated areas.
Further
, I would appreciate if there are fines imposed on the individuals who break the parking rules. Thank you for your kind consideration I look forward to hearing from you. Yours Faithfully, Kinnaribodade
Submitted by nihalshetty384 on

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introduction conclusion present
In the introduction, you did a good job explaining the purpose of your letter. To make it even stronger, consider adding a brief sentence summarizing your specific complaints and requests.
supported main points
Your main points are clear and well-supported. However, to make your request stronger, you might want to elaborate a bit more on the inconveniences caused by the parking issue.
logical structure
Consider ensuring that all sentences flow smoothly from one to the next for better coherence. Using transitional phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' can help improve the flow.
relevant specific examples
It would be helpful to include more specific examples of the problems caused by the lack of bicycle parking. For instance, how often do you encounter this issue?
complete response
Your letter clearly addresses the problem and offers practical solutions, which is excellent for task achievement.
logical structure
Your explanations and reasoning are clear and logical, making it easy to understand your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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