IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

You are living in a populated country. In your country there are no gardens and parks to get fresh air. Write about this to the mayor of your country

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"Dear sir or madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to complain about
Correct article usage
the laek
show examples
laek
Correct your spelling
lack
 of green spaces and places for entertainment.I have been living there since I was born.There are a number of reasons why it is essential for our neighbourhood.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are a wide range
children
Change preposition
of children
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 without any recreational spaces .
That is
Linking Words
 why, we need a playground with some plants.
Second
Change the article
The second
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 issue, I want to describe
you
Change preposition
to you
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 is
Add an article
an ecologic
the ecologic
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ecologic
Replace the word
ecological
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 crisis
of
Change preposition
in
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 our neighbourhood .
Environment
Add an article
The environment
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 has been dying and
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 come across obstacles.It is
also
Linking Words
 challenging for inhabitants who
has got
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 chronic
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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.If the government create some green spaces and
plant
Correct subject-verb agreement
plants
show examples
 amount of trees, it will be beneficial for my neighbourhood's inhabitants. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Akhmadjonova Nodira."

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spelling
Ensure to check spelling carefully, as there are several typos, such as 'laek' instead of 'lack' and 'ecologic' instead of 'ecological'.
development
Try to expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could describe how the lack of green spaces affects mental health or community interaction.
grammar
Make sure to use proper sentence structure and grammar. For example, 'who has got' should be 'who have' when referring to multiple inhabitants.
structure
The letter is structured well with a clear introduction and conclusion.
content
You clearly identified the issues related to the lack of green spaces, which is a relevant topic for your audience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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