Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30s. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Due to
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current
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the current
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economical
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economic
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state, real-estate prices have incredibly
incresed
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increased
, therefor many
younths
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youths
months
around their second and third decades, are now forced to live with their family.
Eventhough
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Even
,
some
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though some
show examples
positive aspects appear, in
this
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essay, we will discover why
this
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trend is completely negative. Living with parents can be extremely
convienence
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convenient
, as everyday needs are
easy
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easily
show examples
accessed. If you are a third-level student or an employee, you can fully
foucse
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focus
focused
on your business,
careless
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care
show examples
about other
resposibility
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responsibility
.
In addition
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to that,
this
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trend is financially
beneficail
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beneficial
regarding to
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for
show examples
the youths, as rent,
electracity
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electricity
, and food, would not be their concern,
such
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a lifestyle can appear optimum, ignorance of its hugely negative impacts. Regardless
the
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of the
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comfort
life
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,
this
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trend comes with
a serious impacts
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a serious impact
serious impacts
show examples
. The main damage is
imarieing
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imagining
the sense of
resposibility
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responsibility
and
adulthoodness
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adulthoods
,
as a result
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, when adulthood
resposibilities
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responsibilities
and challenges
happpen
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happen
such
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as marriage, difficulties in dealing with them will occur
due to
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the lack of experience in
life
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,
thus
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as easy
indepenedence
Correct your spelling
independence
independent
life
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will be
a
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apply
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nearly impossible. The more convenience
youthness
Correct your spelling
youths
, the more difficulties managing
life
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in
adulthoodness
Correct your spelling
adulthoods
. In conclusion, because of the difficulties in owning/
rentin
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renting
rent in
accomodation
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accommodation
, youths with low income tend to live with their parents as it is
financialy
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financially
better, and less
resposibility
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responsibility
life
Use synonyms
,
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nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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it can affect their future actions in taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
and building a stable
life
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Consider revising the introduction to provide a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main argument more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by examples or explanations, which will enhance the logical flow of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples or real-life situations to support your points more robustly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check the essay for spelling and grammatical errors to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
Task Achievement
You have made a relevant argument and identified both the advantages and disadvantages of living with parents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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