IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30s, Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage?

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Due to
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 the current economic state, real-estate prices have incredibly increased, therefor many
youths
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
in
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 their second and third decades, are now forced to live with their family. Even, though some positive aspects appear, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discover why
this
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 trend is completely negative. Living with parents can be extremely convenient, as everyday needs are easily accessed.
youths
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 living with their parents are benefiting from their
parets
Correct your spelling
parents
servecies
Correct your spelling
services
. Cooking, cleaning, and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 are mostly served,
In addition
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 to that,
this
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 trend is financially beneficial for the
youths
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, as rent, electricity, and food, would not be their concern,
such
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 a lifestyle can appear optimum, ignorance of its hugely negative impacts. Regardless of the comfort
life
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,
this
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 trend comes with a serious impact. The main damage is
imparieing
Correct your spelling
impairing
imparting
impacting
 the sense of responsibility and
adulthoods
Fix the agreement mistake
adulthood
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,
as a result
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, when adulthood responsibilities and challenges happen
such
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 as marriage, difficulties in dealing with them will occur
due to
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 the lack of experience in
life
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,
thus
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 as easy independence
life
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 will be nearly impossible. The more convenience
youths
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, the
Add a missing verb
have, the
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 more difficulties managing
life
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 in
adulthoods
Fix the agreement mistake
adulthood
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. In conclusion, because of the difficulties in owning/renting accommodation,
youths
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 with low income tend to live with their parents as it is financially better, and less
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
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life
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,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it can affect their future actions
responsibilities
Correct word choice
and responsibilities
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 and building a stable
life
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 negatively.

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task achievement
Enhance the introduction by providing a clearer outline of the essay's main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing key arguments more effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt adequately and presents both sides of the argument.
content
Good attempt to highlight the convenience of living with parents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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