IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?

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In contemporary society, many
people
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 have
a
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apply
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freedom
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 of speech and
expression
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. Some
people
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 claim that there should not be
government
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 restrictions
over
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on
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 their
opinions
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. From my point of view, I strongly agree with
this
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 perspective. I will explore two main reasons why free
expression
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 is beneficial,
emphazing
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emphasising
 the importance of diversity and positive
health
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 impact. The primary reason for supporting
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freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
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 of expressing one's opinion is that everyone's idea should be equally received and respected. With the rise of foreign residents in every country,
people
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's
opinions
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 are getting significantly diverse more than ever, and
this
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 situation contributes to reaching better conclusions.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that diverse
opinions
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 from multiple viewpoints enrich the discussion, leading to
the
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apply
show examples
well-thought
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well-thought-out
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 conclusions.
For example
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, several research studies identified that the more diverse the citizens'
opinions
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 are, the more sophisticated results they can obtain
at the end
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.
Consequently
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,
the
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apply
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society becomes successful and prosperous when
people
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 share their viewpoints without
government
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 restriction.
Furthermore
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, being able to express ideas freely has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on one's
health
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. When
people
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 are restricted on what to talk
, they
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about, they
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 often find themselves
sereously
Correct your spelling
seriously
 stressed unknowingly.
This
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 is a natural reaction that a brain works extra carefully not to say certain
opinions
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banned
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are banned
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 by the
government
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.
According to
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 the UN research paper, countries facing
government
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 restrictions on the
freedom
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 of speech
such
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 as North Korea, citizens tend to have more
health
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 concerns compared to other countries. By freely expressing
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 feelings,
people
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 can
spend
Verb problem
have
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 healthy days.
To sum up
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, the
freedom
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 of
expression
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 not only enriches the communities' decisions
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 fosters a positive impact on individuals'
health
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. The evidence supporting the connection between diverse
opinions
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 and wide decisions made,
coupled with
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 the
health
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 advantages, indicates that the
freedom
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 of
expression
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 is one of the country's first good steps to follow.

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Task Response
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the two main points you will discuss, which is good practice for clarity. However, consider providing a brief explanation of what freedom of expression entails to set a more robust context.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea. To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly from one point to the next with better transitions between ideas.
Task Response
While you provided examples supporting your arguments, they could be elaborated more with additional context. For instance, expanding on how diverse opinions contribute to successful societies would strengthen your main point.
Task Response
You have articulated a clear stance and provided valid reasons to support your argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Task Response
The use of examples, such as research studies and UN research papers, adds credibility to your claims and shows an effort to ground your ideas in evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your language and vocabulary are quite varied, showing a good level of English proficiency, which helps convey your points effectively.
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