IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the furure all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the future, all
vehicles
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, including cars, buses and trucks are expected to be driverless, meaning that only passengers are inside. In my opinion, the
benefits
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 of
self-drive
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self-driving
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 transportation outweigh the drawbacks. On one hand, one of the most significant advantages of driverless
vehicles
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 is the potential
increased
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for increased
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 safety on the roads. Statistics show that a large percentage of traffic accidents are caused by human error.
For instance
Linking Words
, autonomous
vehicles
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, with the development of AI
technology
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, can prevent many accidents.
Furthermore
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, it promotes environmental
benefits
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. As
such
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, autonomous
vehicles
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 are programmed to drive more efficiently, reducing fuel consumption and emissions.
This
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 can contribute positively to environmental sustainability efforts.
On the other hand
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, driverless
vehicles
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 do present certain disadvantages. A significant concern is the potential loss
employment
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of employment
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 for professional drivers. Millions of people around the world rely on driving jobs for
the
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their
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 livelihood and the widespread adoption of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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self-drive transportation could result
to
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in
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 unemployment.
Additionally
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, issues related
with
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to
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cyber-attack
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cyber-attacks
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. As the
technology
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use
Replace the word
used
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 in autonomous
vehicle
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vehicles
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are
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is
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 very complex, it is very vulnerable to hacking or technical malfunction, exposing a risk
for
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to
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 passenger safety. These incidents,
although
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 rare, could undermine the public trust in the
technology
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. In conclusion,
while
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 autonomous
vehicles
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 do
has
Wrong verb form
have
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 some drawbacks,
such
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 as
risk
Add an article
the risk
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 of job loss and cyber
issue
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issues
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, I believe the
benefits
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 outweigh these issues. The improvement in road safety, efficiency, and environmental impact make self-driving
car
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cars
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 a promising innovation that could impact the way people travel in the future. The potential
benefits
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makes
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make
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technology
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 worth embracing.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion in a more direct way, possibly by using a phrase like 'I firmly believe that...' instead of 'In my opinion'.
task achievement
The phrase 'result to unemployment' should be corrected to 'result in unemployment' for grammatical accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Moreover') to link your points more smoothly and enhance the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Include more examples or data to support your claims about safety statistics and environmental impact for stronger arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure all points in the conclusion reflect back on the main arguments made in the body paragraphs to create a more robust conclusion.
structure
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic by clearly stating both advantages and disadvantages.
content
The use of relevant examples, such as the impact of human error on traffic accidents, supports the argument effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomous
  • infrastructure
  • traffic management
  • collaboration
  • accidents
  • sensors
  • AI technology
  • efficiency
  • congestion
  • emissions
  • sustainability
  • mobility
  • independence
  • investment
  • operational costs
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