IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The matter of choosing the best option between train and vehicle for transportation
,
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apply
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 might seem to be difficult for the government at first as every individual has their own opinion based on their needs. But, I believe that trains have a greater potential in meeting everyone’s
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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.
To begin
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 with, there is
also
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 the environment and location which play a big role in defining the better method.
For instance
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, in
reigns
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regions
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 with high mountain density, it is more
expansive
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expensive
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 and demanding to dig out tunnels rather than just making a suitable base for the roads. Yet, under general environmental conditions, spending more on railways is more practical.
Moreover
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, railroads are more flexible in terms of being able to perform several tasks at a time.
For example
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, a train can carry a huge number of people
along with
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 serving the purpose of a cargo. In comparison, cars, trucks and buses only perform one of these tasks at a time.
Also
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, none of them even come close to a train in terms of
overall
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 capacity.
Although
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 cars are perfect when it comes to mobility (as they are not fixed to certain stations), considering the factors like safety, time and money needed for
roads
Change the noun form
road
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 maintenance, we realize that railroads are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 great option for
government
Add an article
the government
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 to spend money on.
In addition
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, lower costs of diesel fuel
,
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translates
Correct subject-verb agreement
translate
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 to cheaper expenses if we choose to use railways.
To sum up
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,
while
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 some people argue that roads are more worthy to be developed, I do not find myself on their side.
This
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 is because of the lower
overall
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 prices of railroads, the flexibility and the safety of them. So, I agree with the statement as long as we are not limited by the environment.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer distinctions between points with relevant topic sentences or transitional phrases to improve flow.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points better.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance in favor of investing in railways, maintaining a consistent argument throughout.
coherence and cohesion
The comparative analysis of trains and cars regarding capacity is insightful and well articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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