IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very importantfor people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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It takes a
lot
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 of
money
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 for a person to buy a
house
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, but after buying that
house
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, it completely belongs to him.But it only takes a little
money
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 to rent a
house
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 every month to live in that
house
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 for a long time. In some countries,
people
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 think that owning a
house
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 is more important than renting a
house
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. I think
this
Linking Words
 is positive. It costs a
lot
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 of
money
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 to buy a
house
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, and if it is not paid in full,
people
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 need to pay the loan every month.But once a person
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
 a
house
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, it is a thing
belongs
Correct pronoun usage
that belongs
show examples
 to him/her completely. The
house
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 is not only a place to live but
also
Linking Words
 a property.And in some places, the value of the
house
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 will
increasing
Change the verb form
increase
be increasing
show examples
 all the time. If
people
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 don't want to live in that
house
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 anymore, they can sell it, and they can get a
lot
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 of
money
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.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend bought a
house
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 in Shanghai, China. Ten years later, the price of that
house
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 tripled,
he
Correct word choice
and he
show examples
 made a
lot
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 of
money
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. Some
people
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 think that the price of buying a
house
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 is too high, and many
people
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 don't have the
money
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 to buy a
house
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, so it's better to rent a
house
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. I think
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved. In some places, the
house
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 is very expensive, but their rent is
also
Linking Words
 very high. The best choice is to buy a
house
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 with a loan.
People
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 need to pay a small amount of
money
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 to buy a
house
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 with a loan, and
then
Linking Words
 pay less
money
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 than renting a
house
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 every month.In
this
Linking Words
 way,
people
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 can be the owner of the
house
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 and enjoy all the
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 of the
house
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and don‘t need to consider the rules set by the
house
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 owner when renting the
house
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. I think buying a
house
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 is a better choice than renting a
house
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. In the past, it was difficult to own a
house
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 because
people
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 had no
money
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. But I think that in the future, there will be more and more ways for
people
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 to get
money
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, and it will not be very difficult to buy a
house
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.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more nuanced explanations for why owning is important across different cultures or countries. This could strengthen your task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively and to improve the overall flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Be sure to clearly differentiate and elaborate on different perspectives around the renting vs. buying debate to enrich your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion and covers the topic by discussing both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
You provided a relevant personal example, which can help in illustrating your point and engaging the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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