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Band 5

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? See all user-written essays on this topic

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There is a widely held view that the majority of families all around the world prefer to teach their own
children
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 at
home
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, rather than allow them to go to school and learn new
skills
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. Personally believe that the negative consequences of
this
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 trend have outweighed the positive ones based on various factors. The following paragraphs will investigate both
advantages
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the advantages
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 and disadvantages of
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, From some of the general public perspectives, educating
children
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 at
home
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 has positive knock-on effects on schoolchildren.
First,
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parents can protect their
children
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 from exposing to imposer behaviour. Parents of these
children
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 wholeheartedly believe that the personality and treatment of their
children
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 can be affected detrimentally by their naughty or misbehaved classmates,
Thus
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,
this
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 situation will lead to
creation
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the creation
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 of violence
or
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apply
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pessimism or even selfishness among the younger generations.
Second,
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education at
home
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 is considered the best approach for families' financial support, Since they do not have to pay for overpriced tuition to register their
children
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 at school or even in university
thus
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 they can take advantage of saving their own disposable incomes for a rainy day.
On the contrary
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, For the other group of families, the drawbacks of being educated at
home
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ar
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are
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 far more than its benefits. the main downside of
this
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 subject is the lack of communication that they face during
this
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 time.
To
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According to
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 medical experts and psychologists, younger
children
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 desperately need to keep in touch with their classmates,
otherwise
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, they may get depressed. The other thing that could be added to the drawbacks is a lack of professional
skills
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.
Thus
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, their academic performance will be absolutely affected in a detrimental way. Those parents who have never undergone any methodology courses cannot impart academic
skills
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 or general information to their
children
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.
Therefore
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, mothers and fathers are not able to shape their own child abilities or proficiency.
To conclude
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,
Although
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 there are some positive sides to teaching
children
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 at
home
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, It is essential for
children
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 to learn some social
skills
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. So they should be sent to schools

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task achievement
The introduction needs to be clearer. You can strengthen your thesis statement by clearly stating your position on whether the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use proper transitions between your points to improve the overall flow and coherence of your essay. For example, linking phrases can help connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or evidence to support your claims about both the advantages and disadvantages of home education. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
You have clearly identified both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is generally logical, with clear paragraphs discussing different points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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