IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both and individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Social networking
sites
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 have revolutionized communication and information sharing.
However
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, some people argue that these platforms have had a profound negative impact on
individuals
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 and society.
While
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 social
media
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 has benefits,
such
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 as staying connected and accessing information, I agree that its disadvantages, including mental
health
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 issues, reduced social interactions, and misinformation are more significant.
Firt
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First
 of all, regarding social networking
sites
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 is their negative effect on mental
health
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. Excessive use of social
media
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 can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. For
instans
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instance
, many
individuals
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 compare themselves to others, feeling pressure to meet unrealistic beauty and lifestyle standards.
Additionally
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, cyberbullying has become a widespread issue, causing emotional distress
as a result
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 some
citezens
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citizens
 are leading to self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
Furthemore
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Furthermore
, social networking
sites
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 have
also
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 reduced real-life social interactions.
Such
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 as, now people prefer online conversations over face-to-face communication,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result, it
effects
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affects
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to
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apply
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weaker social skills. Families and friends often spend time together physically but remain glued to their screens, limiting meaningful conversations.
Consequently
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, personal relationships may suffer and people may feel more isolated despite being virtually connected.
On the other hand
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,
drawback
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the drawback
a drawback
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 of social
media
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 is the spread of false information. Many users rely on these platforms for news, but not all sources are credible. Fake news spreads quickly, influencing public opinion and sometimes leading to panic or misunderstandings.
This
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 misinformation can have serious consequences, affecting political decisions,
health
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 choices, and even societal stability and others. In conclusion,
although
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 social networking
sites
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 offer benefits, they have a significant negative impact on both
individuals
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 and society. Issues
such
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 as mental
health
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 problems, reduced face-to-face relationships, and the spread of misinformation highlight the dangers of excessive social
media
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 use. To minimize these negative effects. I think that
,
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apply
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individuals
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 should use social
media
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 responsibly and prioritize real-life interactions over virtual ones.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position on the issue and outlines the main points of your argument. However, you can strengthen it by restating the key points in a more structured way.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you transition smoothly between paragraphs and ideas. You may want to use linking words to connect concepts better, which can improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, be careful with spelling and grammar, as some inaccuracies can affect readability. For instance, 'instans' should be 'instances' and 'citezens' should be 'citizens.'
task achievement
While you provided some examples, consider including additional specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments further. This would enhance the relevance and depth of your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is fundamental in task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your view on the topic, which shows good overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
What to do next:
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