IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Saving a part of one's income might be profitable in the upcoming years. There is an opinion that I agree with that states there is a need to encourage all individuals, including young adults, to save money for the future.
This
Linking Words
 is because I think it will increase
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 stability when
people
Use synonyms
 grow old and
this
Linking Words
 act could create better
citizens
Use synonyms
. The primary reason for my alignment is that it will allow individuals to be financially stable when they become elders.
This
Linking Words
 is because they will have sufficient funds to retire at the right time without
worring
Correct your spelling
worrying
working
 about their finances.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Nigeria, after a certain age, companies ensure their old workers retire;
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have enough to live
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 are forced to become labourers or cleaners. The wages from these jobs might not be enough to cater
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 needs.
In addition
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
 who had saved when they were young can help sponsor their children;
hence
Linking Words
, preventing them from owing loans
such
Linking Words
 as student debt. Another justification for my agreement is that the habit of saving can create better
citizens
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because saving is an act of self-discipline;
hence
Linking Words
, it will reflect on other aspects of
peoples'
Correct your spelling
people's
show examples
 lives. To illustrate,
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
 who save know the value of money,
as a result
Linking Words
, they are less likely to steal from others as they are contented with what they have.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it allows a nation to have honest
people
Use synonyms
 in power
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
citizens
Use synonyms
 who take these positions are wise spenders;
therefore
Linking Words
, they are less likely to misuse
piblic
Correct your spelling
public
 funds. In conclusion, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the notion that everyone, including the
youths
Fix the agreement mistake
youth
show examples
, should be encouraged to save part of their income for the upcoming years because I feel it would let them be financially independent when they grow old and
this
Linking Words
 habit can help create better
citizens
Use synonyms
. I recommend that topics about saving should be taught in schools to help children have
this
Linking Words
 mindset.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, there are a few misspellings such as 'finacial', 'worring', 'thoes', and 'piblic'.
content
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments, especially in the second point about creating better citizens.
content
Clarify your points with more detailed explanations or analysis to enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
content
You present strong arguments for the importance of saving money, particularly in terms of financial stability and character development.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: