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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps bellow show changes experienced by the town of Lakeside at the beginning of the 21th century . Summarize the information by reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps bellow show changes experienced by the town of Lakeside at the beginning of the 21th century . Summarize the information by reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps
illustrates
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illustrate
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 how the town of Lakeside was reconstructed from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the town became modernized, destroying various residential areas
while
Linking Words
 developing the industrial zone and offering more options for leisure activities. Looking at the graph from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 detailed perspective, The dwelling remained unchanged in the North West corner of the city. Moving on to the right side of
resident's
Correct article usage
the resident's
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 home ,
Correct article usage
the derelic
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derelic
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derelict
derelicts
 warehouse made way for
car
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the car
a car
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 park to accommodate vehicles and ease road congestion. The old town below was divided into two buildings which included offices and a university that served the citizens' demands. The school was still there , and the adjacent art was replaced by
cinema
Correct article usage
a cinema
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 , which
sastified
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 the entertainment needs in 2009.
To
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In
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 the South West region, the residential area was renovated by
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
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 centre to provide groceries. In the middle centre, the river still existed as a signal of the border between the two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of
map
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the map
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. The lake
was vanished
Change to the active voice
vanished
has vanished
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 into
pond
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the pond
a pond
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 . Shifting to the right of
river
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the river
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, the industrial and residential areas
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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emerged industrial complex , which contained several factories that increased job opportunities.

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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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