IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered that some
people
Use synonyms
 find
crucial
Correct pronoun usage
it crucial
show examples
 to have a home rather than
rent
Use synonyms
 one. The reason for that may be in
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 benefits that
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a home can bring as nowadays renting a home is quite expensive. I think that it
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
positive trend as I find owing way more convenient in many aspects
while
Linking Words
 renting can bring some issues. Many
people
Use synonyms
 dream
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
 their own property, particularly homes
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 various reasons. One of the primary reasons is that individuals do not have to pay
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even in the suburbs renting a flat is not cheap and very often prices go up from one year to another . Results of the recent survey conducted by local activists in Hampshire
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 that local
people
Use synonyms
 are not satisfied with
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of the
rent
Use synonyms
 and they claim that prices increased by 45% in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 years. I consider that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive situation which can make
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
work harder, learn financial literacy and achieve more success and comfort in their lives.
People
Use synonyms
 who have some goals are keen to save more money to realize their aims. Recent trends show that the young prefer to buy cars and houses rather than
rent
Use synonyms
 them as they think that it is meaningless to pay a big amount of money for something
that is
Linking Words
 not theirs,
while
Linking Words
 they can get a credit and pay it every month and
as a result
Linking Words
 have their own property.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the population of post-Soviet countries think that it is very important to have your own place to live so they save money and buy houses, flats or apartments by their
mid 30-s
Add a hyphen
mid-30-s
show examples
. In conclusion, I find it logical that many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to have their own homes rather than
rent
Use synonyms
 ones because it is less expensive and more logical and it is a positive trend.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents some good ideas but could benefit from clearer explanations. For example, expanding on why owning a home is considered more economical could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow between your ideas. Some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Using linking words could improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are relevant and support your main points effectively. For instance, providing more details about the survey findings could enhance your argument.
task achievement
You effectively identified economic benefits as a primary reason for preferring home ownership over renting.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear opinion on the topic and your conclusion summarizes your main points well, reflecting a logical thought process.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: