IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People nowadays prefer to interact online (e.g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years,
while
Linking Words
 some people opt to do their daily activities face-to-face, others choose to do them on the internet. My take on
this
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:
Add a missing verb
is, growth
show examples
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of the population and in the meantime,
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 of technology have become trendy all over the world. I suppose
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it gives off
such
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 a positive vibe when I send messages to my friends.
However
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, it has
also
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 certain drawbacks
such
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 as
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples
 of internet in the society, which makes people more unconscious about life.

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task achievement
Expand your main points to provide a more comprehensive argument. Consider including specific examples or personal anecdotes to support your claims about online interaction and its effects.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects smoothly to the next one.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, indicating both positive and negative aspects of online interaction.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets the context for your discussion, which is a good start.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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