IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that planing for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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a fraction of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that planning for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 future career is an unuseful notion because they consider that the present period is more
essenital
Correct your spelling
essential
 and
this
Linking Words
 idea is a waste of time, at the same time, some parents argue
this
Linking Words
 statement. in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss the causes and explain both points of view. on the one hand, planning to reach a particular
goals
Correct the article-noun agreement
goal
show examples
 is more common than in the past. because of the variety of
futre
Correct your spelling
future
 chances produced a new vision for several jobs. and make a lot of adults and teenagers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more doubt
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves and their abilities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 option will be more typical
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
.
for example
Linking Words
, provided statistics by Harvard
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 illustrate that
people
Use synonyms
 with scheduled plans had an advantage compared with those
people
Use synonyms
 who did not
planned
Change the verb form
plan
show examples
 by about 54%.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, many nations show the opposite
that is
Linking Words
 not vital to focusing on something that did not happen.
in contrast
Linking Words
, organising the present goals is the most important for employees and
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
. overthinking and planning may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's minds and their present tasks.
then
Linking Words
, they will not
access
Add a missing verb
have access
show examples
 to
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 situation.
For instance
Linking Words
, a general poll was launched on a Japanese website in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
late
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015. it was for
people
Use synonyms
 who put two different
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
show examples
 in their schedules and asked them if they
succeed
Wrong verb form
succeeded
show examples
 or
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
. The
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
 was a huge amount for the failure option.
to sum up
Linking Words
, there are two different
notion
Change to a plural noun
notions
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 subject. the future planning has advantages and disadvantages. it will be helpful to reach
a specific dreams
Correct the article-noun agreement
a specific dream
specific dreams
show examples
.
in contrast
Linking Words
, it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuremous
Correct your spelling
enormous
numerous
 risks. in my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with the first statement

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task achievement
Try to clarify your main argument more clearly in the introduction. A clear thesis statement outlining your position will improve your task response.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos, such as 'unuseful' (use 'useless') and 'essenital' (should be 'essential') to enhance clarity.
task achievement
When discussing statistics or polls, ensure you explain their significance in more detail to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly by using transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments, which will improve coherence.
task achievement
You provided both perspectives on the topic, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
Your example from Harvard University indicates an attempt to use evidence, which is good for supporting your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • unexpected expenses
  • career advancement
  • long-term goals
  • structured approach
  • personal development
  • educational goals
  • fulfilling life
  • spontaneous experiences
  • emotional fulfillment
  • embrace opportunities
  • mental health
  • reduce stress and anxiety
  • mindfulness
  • balanced approach
  • flexibility and adaptation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: