With more people choosing to watch travel programs on TV and social media, fewer people will be willing to pay the costs of traveling abroad. To what extent do you agree?

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It is widely believed that people prefer to consume
travel
Use synonyms
documentaries on television and digital networking over traveling
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with the statement because there is a difference between
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
vacation
spot
Fix the agreement mistake
spots
show examples
on social networking and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
tourist
Add an article
a tourist
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
travel
Use synonyms
series
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
actually encourage tourism.
First,
Linking Words
the distinction of steaming in adventure
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
on social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
and
pay to
Add a hyphen
pay-to-travel
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
is
experience
Correct article usage
an experience
show examples
. Watching famous
YouTuber
Fix the agreement mistake
YouTubers
show examples
go to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
is
others
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
experience that
convey
Wrong verb form
is conveyed
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
video.
For example
Linking Words
, viewing popular
inflencers
Correct your spelling
influencers
go to France and literally
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to France is
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
because watching videos cannot replace
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the feeling of visiting a new place with the atmosphere, smell or weather.
Second,
Linking Words
popular
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
that
famous
Add a missing verb
are famous
show examples
on social media encourage visitors.
Travel
Use synonyms
content often sparks new inspiration for people to new
distination
Correct your spelling
destination
destinations
. Traveling documentary is as same as advertisement to draw tourism for visiting and exploring.
For example
Linking Words
,
Korean
Correct your spelling
Korea
show examples
,
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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in
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
show examples
that have no
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
until they present their country through
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the online platform. Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourisms
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
show examples
in
Korean
Correct your spelling
Korea
show examples
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
dramatically increased
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
than
thousand
Correct article usage
a thousand
show examples
million people per
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
after the promotion
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
. In conclusion, it is fault believed that the tourism industry will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decrease because of digital technology. It was in opposite
due to
Linking Words
the difference in
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
of watching and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
and
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
technology has significantly
affect
Change the verb form
affected
show examples
to
travel
Use synonyms
industry.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your paragraphs clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea supported by evidence or examples.
task achievement
Improve your introduction by clearly outlining your main arguments to create a stronger roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Elaborate more on your examples, providing further details or explanations to enhance clarity and impact.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples related to the impact of social media on travel which supports your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main point and restates your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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