IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Advertisements
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 are long-term marketing tools for businesses,
however
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, people nowadays tend to be more independent towards these advertising.
This
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 phenomenon has positive impacts on the public, which comes from the current style of education that focuses on more critical thinking and independence of the students.
To begin
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, the current curriculum in schools and colleges emphasises critical thinking more than in the past, which affects young people's behaviours. One apparent example of increased critical thinking is there are emerging groups on social media platforms for reviewing products and services, in which members ask for a second opinion on goods they are interested in before they actually purchase.
In addition
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, the current society focuses on the equality of individuals, so the youngsters have more confidence in their own opinions.
Therefore
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, they would consider things more thoroughly, which results in not being hostile to
advertisements
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 and promotions.
Consequently
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, the shift in
consumer'
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consumer
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 behaviours is a good improvement for the public, as businesses need to be more truthful and not rely on heavily distorted
advertisements
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.
For example
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, with a new trend of buying products based on reviews, truthful reviews potentially have more effect on the customers' decisions than what the companies want to present in sponsored
advertisements
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. In conclusion, the changes in less influence of the
advertisements
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 are good development for the consumers, which is rooted in the revised education system that improves critical thinking and freedom of opinions of the new generations. These changes impact how goods are sold, with less overly claimed descriptions, customers are likely to get good products at reasonable prices.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and addresses the question, but expanding on your points and providing more detail could enhance clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to vary your sentence structure and use cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs and within them.
task achievement
You have a strong introduction that clearly states your position and outlines the main argument, which sets the tone for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the role of social media in influencing consumer behavior, demonstrates an understanding of the topic and helps to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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