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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 chart demonstrates key information about the annual
income
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 in the United States.
Also
Linking Words
 Showing the estimate in 2007, 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
dear
Correct word choice
clear
show examples
 from the graph that, the highest amount of gainings was in 2015, reavelling big
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
show examples
.
Scondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, comes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2007 and 2011 respectively.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the chart, in 2007, there was a wide range between 100.000 to less than 25.000 of
households
Use synonyms
income
Use synonyms
 . about 29
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 of them, achieved 100 and more
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 that year
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and only 15
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 had 25.000 or less
income
Use synonyms
. Moving to 2011, it was nearly the same manner as
2007
Change preposition
in 2007
show examples
, with the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
households
Use synonyms
 gaining more than 100.000 to 27 million and the lowest gaining
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
 was the same in number and
income
Use synonyms
 as 2007. In term of 2015, many
households
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 gained a very high
income
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, reaching 100.000 by 34
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of them, which was the maximum among the other years presented.
Also
Linking Words
 for
this
Linking Words
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 only 15
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 of less than 25.000 , making it constant throughout the years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, households, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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