IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 or
books
Use synonyms
 have been seen as the old type of platform for reading especially for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Generation
z
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Z
show examples
. With the advancement of digital
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
 many
people
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 believe that printed
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
 will become obsolete, as
people
Use synonyms
 prefer reading electronic
books
Use synonyms
 or online news.
Although
Linking Words
 digital reading is undoubtedly more convenient,
moreover
Linking Words
 it is
also
Linking Words
 free,
printed
Correct word choice
and printed
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 materials will still have a place in society
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 grow with it. On one hand, digital resources for reading have risen significantly in the past decade. Online news and other digital platforms are easy and quick to access. To save time we only need a second to access and read or look for the newest information, even to find employment for the job seeker. Many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to get something without paying because sometimes the platform is free as well, and
also
Linking Words
 we don’t have to worry
to carry
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about carrying
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 the newspaper or book around because it is portable, Less space
needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
show examples
, and accessible through phone or laptop.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, printed types of
books
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 and
newspapers
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 still have value because those who enjoy reading so much
while
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 holding the physical printed
books
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 will still purchase the media.
Similarly
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,
newspapers
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 still have a place in older generations even though for the latest generation
newspapers
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 or
books
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 are not important
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
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to prevent bad eyesight because of the damage from screen time so much,
that is
Linking Words
 why
for
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
people
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
still prefer them;
for instance
Linking Words
, the librarians, historians and experts in education,
also
Linking Words
 those that have the hobby of collecting
books
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, magazines and
newspapers
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 still find that printed type is essential and important. In conclusion, digital reading or electronic
books
Use synonyms
 are so much more convenient, printed
books
Use synonyms
 and
newspapers
Use synonyms
 will still exist in the future, not only
due to
Linking Words
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 usage
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
but
also
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 for the benefits depending on the
people
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your main points. While you mention that printed material has value for librarians and historians, including more details or additional examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help connect your ideas and create a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your viewpoint, creating a good foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You made a good attempt to address both sides of the argument, which adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
What to do next:
Look at other essays: