Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, the amount of road
collision
Fix the agreement mistake
collisions
show examples
gradually increase. Some
people
Use synonyms
think the best way to diminish crashes
by
Add a missing verb
is by
show examples
giving heavy punishment, others consider another alternative
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be found to solve
this
Linking Words
problem. In
this
Linking Words
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will examine
bith
Correct your spelling
both
views and provide my own perspective. Regulation of driver speed volume is
one
Use synonyms
of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
effective
solution
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solutions
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to make road
condition
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conditions
show examples
safer.
This
Linking Words
situation frequently became
one
Use synonyms
of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
why
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents increase significantly, to solve it giving severe
penalty
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penalties
show examples
makes
Add an article
the driver
show examples
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
more alert to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
a mistakes
Correct the article-noun agreement
mistakes
a mistake
show examples
during driving.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
rule
also
Linking Words
generating
Wrong verb form
generates
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
discipline and
avoid
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
show examples
bad
situation
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situations
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Azerbaijan is
one
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of the
country
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countries
show examples
which applying
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
rules,
Correct word choice
and enyone
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enyone
Correct your spelling
anyone
who drives above average will be given severe punishment, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
fact,
show examples
this
Linking Words
obligation
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
rate
Add an article
the rate
a rate
show examples
of success.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
traffic
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accidents can be prevented by
spend
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spending
show examples
more government funding to improve infrastructure. Applying
this
Linking Words
method is very
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
for all
people
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because can make brighter
street
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streets
show examples
and
people
Use synonyms
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
to catch
conditions
Correct article usage
the conditions
show examples
surrounding them and control their speed.
For example
Linking Words
, Germany builds light towers along the way with the aim of ensuring
people
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can see what
happen
Wrong verb form
is happening
show examples
in front of them.
Moreover
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, technology
shopisticated
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sophisticated
offers convenience to using smart
traffic
Use synonyms
light
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lights
show examples
. All the activities on the road can be controlled by the government
throught
Correct your spelling
through
the camera that
apply on
Wrong verb form
is applied
show examples
. To illustrate, Japan has been
consumes
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consumer
show examples
for
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
time and the level of
people
Use synonyms
crash
Correct subject-verb agreement
crashes
show examples
decreased dramatically in recent years.
To conclude
Linking Words
, giving punishment to drivers who bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehichle
Correct your spelling
vehicles
with
over speed
Correct your spelling
overspeed
can be
one
Use synonyms
of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
for tackling accidents.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe other ways
such
Linking Words
as smart
traffic
Use synonyms
lights and
camera
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cameras
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more effective and efficient for society.

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General Writing
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'bith' should be 'both', and 'i' should be 'I'. Such small mistakes can affect the overall professionalism of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed. For instance, the phrasing in 'this situation frequently became one of the reason' can be simplified to 'this situation is frequently one of the reasons'.
Task Achievement
Develop your examples further. For example, explain how or why measures in Azerbaijan and Japan were effective in reducing accidents, rather than just stating the statistics.
Task Achievement
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, which is essential to a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • strict punishments
  • driving offenses
  • traffic accidents
  • deterrent
  • penalties
  • driving privileges
  • heavy fines
  • reckless driving
  • responsible behaviors
  • distractions
  • adhering to traffic rules
  • education and awareness programs
  • road safety
  • safe driving practices
  • fear-driven approach
  • road infrastructure
  • traffic management systems
  • well-designed roads
  • clear signage
  • adequate lighting
  • public awareness campaigns
  • attitudes towards driving
  • initiatives
  • promote the message
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