IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the words, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem? Support your opinion with reason and examples from your own knowledge and experience?

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We live in an age when many organizations or
people
Use synonyms
 try to cut their forests in the country, which causes critical issues for the environment. In
this
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 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will propose the main solution to solve
this
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 problem,
such
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 as providing events on the environmental risks of deforestation and forcing
people
Use synonyms
 to take care of their forest by the governments.
Firstly
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, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries try to cut their forest or trees with unknown reasonable,
this
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 is causing
destroyed
Replace the word
destruction
show examples
 to nature and fluctuated of the environment, if
people
Use synonyms
 keep going in deforestation, that will increase the tourism failure in the country and drop the level of oxygen, to illustrate
this
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 organization whom those responsible of plants must prepare an event to raise the culture's
people
Use synonyms
 awareness about the importance of forest on the environments from reflecting that on the human health.
Secondly
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, in spite of deforestation which effect of climate change, which can be one of the most significant parts of increasing the temperature, the government should not allow to do that from foreign public and force them to do that,
such
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 as making anyone try to cut a tree without
official
Add an article
an official
show examples
 agreement to pay a fee to the government and if he repeated
this
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 situation he must send him to the courthouse to make the justice. In conclusion, many collecting of
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 try to destroy the forests without any sense, which turn to affect the environment
such
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 by increasing temperature,
furthermore
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, the solution to
this
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peroblem
Correct your spelling
problem
 is by making a practical event of the essential plants on earth and force
people
Use synonyms
 to cut any tree by the government.

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task achievement
Clarify your main ideas with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and correct grammar to enhance your arguments.
task achievement
You have identified important aspects of the problem of deforestation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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