For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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have different thoughts about working hard and earning
money
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for their family or individually. Financial plays a main role for individuals to
work
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hard.
Money
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is a crucial factor that makes
people
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work
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hard. In today's world, financial stability is essential for daily basic needs like food, shelter, healthcare, and education. Many
people
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work
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in demanding jobs or overtime to secure a better life for their family and future days.
Additionally
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, other overtime and part-time,
such
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as bonuses, financial rewards, and promotions.
For instance
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, in competitive fields like finance and the IT sector, employees often push themselves to more working hours to achieve high earnings and career success.
On the other hand
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, not everyone follows
this
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passion to earn
money
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. Many individuals
work
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hard because they are passionate about
work
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, not on good Excel earning
money
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. Professions
such
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as teaching, social
work
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, and scientific research are more motivated, not rather than financial gain.
For example
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, many
people
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work
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hard to build their own businesses, not just for
money
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but
also
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for the satisfaction of creating something meaningful. In conclusion, working hard is not the only reason for earning
money
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for their family. Many
people
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are
also
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motivated by personal fulfilment, passion, and career aspirations.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the clarity and structure of your main ideas. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one clear point and develops it thoroughly.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples that align directly with your main points, which will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Review your introduction and conclusion to ensure they succinctly summarize your arguments and perspective.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by acknowledging multiple motivations for hard work.
task achievement
The use of specific fields like finance and IT adds relevance to your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
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