IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people like to work in company which offer high salaries, other prefer working in a company which offer good working atmosphere. What do you think? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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When it comes to
talk
Change the verb form
talking
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 about people who work in companies have two main differences,some of them looking for monthly income
while
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 others are just looking for a good working atmosphere, there are differing opinions on the matter. It is important to explore both sides of the discussion to gain a comprehensive understanding.
This
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 essay will explore the various scenarios of the topic and demonstrate the viewpoint with a logical narrative. There are several arguments to support
this
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 idea. The most predominant one is that it has made people’s lives better than ever. It certainly contributes to the fact that TOPİC.
Besides
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, it leads to a wide array of benefits in almost every aspect of life as well. Needless to say, all these upsides have positive impacts on the beneficiaries.
However
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, an increasingly significant pitfall of
this
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 proposition is that it has made people's lives worse than ever.
In addition
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 to
this
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, when one does not follow
such
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 a practice religiously, they cannot widen their horizons with much ease and comfort.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many do not accept
this
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 notion. From what has been discussed above, it can arguably be concluded that two worker types are optional and fully
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 on their character and what they are willing from their job.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer in defining the two types of workers you are discussing. Additionally, try to provide a clearer thesis statement outlining your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to your main argument or provides a specific example to support the point you are discussing. This would improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples that reflect the differing values of salary versus work atmosphere. This strengthens your argument and makes it more relatable to the reader.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the issue, which is a key requirement of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing demonstrates an intention to explore a comprehensive understanding of the topic, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • advancement
  • sacrifice
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • employee well-being
  • team collaboration
  • innovation
  • retain
  • long-term career success
  • skilled workers
  • professional growth
  • work-life harmony
  • positive atmosphere
  • supportive culture
What to do next:
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