Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believes that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals argue that
parents
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should advise
children
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about how to behave in a community.
However
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, the other side thinks that
school
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is the place where
children
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can socialise better. In my point of view, the
parents
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show
children
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only
a
Correct article usage
the
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good side of it, but the
school
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teaches them to face the difficulties. On the one hand,
parents
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are people who look up to their kids since they were born. By meaning that, kids will always look and try to copy their
parents
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to be like them.
For instance
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, I have a little brother and he always loves copying my father by trying to be like him.
Hence
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, it means that the
parents
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are examples for their kids.
On the other hand
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,
school
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is more different and hard to adapt there at the beginning. At
school
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no one will help and protect them, they will have to face the reality of society and will learn how to behave in the community.
Hence
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,
children
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have to express themselves and by that, they will slowly create a hierarchy in society. To summarize, the
parents
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and
school
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have to be in the child's life to be able to handle justice and the brutality of society. I strongly believe that these two teachers have a great influence on kid development

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you'll discuss in the essay.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, aim to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, try using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly, which will help guide the reader through your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details to improve the structure of your arguments and maintain focus throughout.
task achievement
Your essay presents both perspectives effectively, showing that you understand the topic well and can view it from different angles.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear, and you express it confidently, which helps engage the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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