some people belive that there should be fixed punishments for each types of crime. others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and thr motivation for committing it, shold always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment

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There is no doubt that
punishments
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are effective in today’s world because of various reasons. It is widely argued that some fixed
punishments
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ensure fairness,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others believe that considering the context of each
crime
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leads to a more just legal system. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the previous point of view, as I believe that the justice system should consider conditions when deciding the penalties. First of all,
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a number of people support a theory of the role of the case for fixed
punishments
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.
In other words
Linking Words

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, if every
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has a penalty it
reduced
Wrong verb form
reduces

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reduced. Consider changing it.

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the chances
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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sentencing.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction because. Consider removing the comma.

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fixed
punishments
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can
act as
Verb problem
play

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a critical role
to classify
Change preposition
in classifying

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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offences and
decide
Wrong verb form
deciding

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb decide. Consider changing it.

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the consequences for them.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, terrorist activities like the one which happened on 9/11 would lead to direct encounters or life imprisonment.
According to
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a recent study by
sultan
Capitalize word
Sultan

The word sultan should be capitalized in this context.

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Qaboos
university
Capitalize word
University

The word university should be capitalized in this context.

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, approximately 45% of criminals felt guilty after committing crimes, which made them stop committing them again.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is generally recognized that the circumstances and the motivation
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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committing a
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be considered when deciding on the punishment. A key reason for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is that fixed
punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are necessary in order to reduce the number of crimes and force people to live in a good way
for
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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following the rules.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, stealing to survive is different from stealing for profit. It would be unfair if they get the same punishment.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 2014, an incident
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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against a college student became infamous globally because of the nature of the gang assault committed which ultimately led to a change in law. In conclusion, considering the nature of
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a seriously positive impact on
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals

It seems that individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. I generally agree with the point of view, as I believe that taking everything into consideration when deciding on the punishment.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I fully encourage
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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both
government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and individuals
take
Fix the infinitive
to take

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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important
acts
Replace the word
actions

The word acts doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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towards
punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task response
Your introduction presents both views well, but could be more concise and clear. Try to paraphrase the topic statement more effectively.
task response
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each point is well-developed with clear explanations and relevant examples. Some examples are somewhat vague or unclear. For example, the study you mentioned could use more explanation to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your key points more clearly and uses a more definitive statement regarding your stance.
coherence and cohesion
To improve the flow of your essay, consider using linking words and phrases more effectively between sentences and paragraphs. This can help with coherence.
task response
You have presented a balanced view of the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is a positive aspect of your essay.
task response
Your examples, particularly the reference to the 9/11 attacks and the context of poverty in stealing, show a good attempt to connect real-world instances to your argument, enhancing your points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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