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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table and pie charts below show the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows data on the
number
Use synonyms
 of
research
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students
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according to
Linking Words
 their local or international status in Australian Universities in the year 2001 and 2010
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart
further
Linking Words
 explains the data by dividing them
according to
Linking Words
 gender. An overview
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the data is that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is been a general increase in the total
number
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 of
research
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students
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 in Australian
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 from 2001 to 2010. We can
also
Linking Words
 see an increase in the total
number
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 of
both
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 males and females in 2010. In the
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is an increment in the total
number
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 of
research
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students
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 from 38,849 to 54,081. The
number
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 of international
research
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students
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 in 2010 has
aprroximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 tripled that of 2001 from 5,192 to 14,593,
while
Linking Words
 that of local
research
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students
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 has just increased slightly from 33,657 to 39,488. The pie chart shows
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 has been a rise in the
number
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 of
both
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 female and male international
students
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 from 4% to 15% and 9% to 12% respectively.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 has been a decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 local
students
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both
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 male and female from 2001 to 2010. In conclusion
both
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 the
number
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 of international and local
research
Use synonyms
students
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in 2010 compared to 2001,

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, research, students, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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