IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

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Even though
education
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 is considered
as
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apply
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one of the significant
predictor
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predictors
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 of success, some
people
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 achieve in
life
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 after failing in school. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss what factors are assisting in
life
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 for success other than
education
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.
People
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 who
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 have
Add an article
a
the
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hunger to work hard and most of them become
the
Correct article usage
apply
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entrepreneurs. The Texas business school conducted a survey and concluded that most billionaires are school drop-outs
due to
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 financial and family issues. Still, they succeeded in
life
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 because of
humiliation
Correct article usage
the humiliation
show examples
 and struggles they encountered. Those challenges made them resilient and encouraged them to take risks.
Moreover
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,
common
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a common
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 thing between
the
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apply
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successful
people
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 without
education
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are
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is
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 the
risk taking
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risk-taking
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 personality. Because these
people
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 come out of their comfort zone and take risks in
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
show examples
. Some of them may face failures but, they don't give up and work consistently till they succeed. The most essential thing to a successful person is the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and
goal
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goals
show examples
. An example
for
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of
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this
Linking Words
 is,
a
Correct word choice
that a
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successful person has a
short
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short-term
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term
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 and
long
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long-term
show examples
term
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 goal and will work towards still they reach it. When we look at the history of successful
people
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 most of them were not intelligent or skillful individuals but
hardworkers
Correct your spelling
hard workers
. They faced struggles in every part of their
life
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 and learned things from failures. So, without facing failures one cannot be successful. In conclusion, some
people
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 who failed in their
education
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 still achieved
theirs
Correct the word
their
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 dreams by doing
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and staying consistent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear
short
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short-term
show examples
term
Use synonyms
 and
long
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
term
Use synonyms
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
 helps them to stay on the path and succeed in
life
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Overall, your ideas are clearly presented, but some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to signal the main idea. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus related to the main argument.
task achievement
While you provided some examples, including studies or specific individuals could strengthen your argument. More specificity in your examples would add to the depth of your analysis.
grammar
A few grammatical errors and awkward phrases can distract the reader. Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.
content
You effectively discuss the importance of hard work and resilience, which are key themes related to success outside of formal education.
content
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of hard work and goal-setting, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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