IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Use reasons and specific examples to support our answer.

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According to
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 Newton's Law of Motion, every action has a consequence, so it is important to understand that most of human's knowledge
come
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comes
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 from their action's results, called experience. People acquire a certain amount of experience from the events which seem hard to handle
initially
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement, since I believe that humanity
improve
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improves
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it's
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its
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 information treasury by handling obstacles and reasoning its consequences. On the one hand, people begin learning since their birth. Even though
,
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apply
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 human is the most intelligent creature on
the
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apply
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Earth, learning is not enough for
the
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apply
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development. Because
,
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apply
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 we have to use our ability of reasoning to transform events
to
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into
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a
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apply
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knowledge.
Firstly
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,
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 brain
detect
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detects
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 a problem
,
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apply
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 and
then
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 starts looking for a solution. When it finds a reliable solution it tries to conduct. Whether it will work or not, it saves the results to use in the future.
Therefore
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, everyone creates
its
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their
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 own knowledge treasury.
For example
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, babies are usually unaware
with
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of
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 the fire, when they get closer to the fire, they feel pain. So, their brain labels the fire as a source of pain,
thereafter
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, they become careful.
On the other hand
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, in the history of the World, there were many successful empires, which they conquered large-scale
of
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apply
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territories.
Nonetheless
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, none of them is still alive, they got
beated
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beaten
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 one by one.
However
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, they left many artefacts,
such
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 as books and historical records.
Thus
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, it is very crucial to understand their problems and solutions, because it may
enlight
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enlighten
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 us when we encounter
with
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apply
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a similar issue. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen in the Roman Empire, many kings recorded their war strategies and enemies' attack strategies.
Moreover
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, they categorized each attack and
defend
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defence
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 strategy,
also
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 matched them.
This
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 approach directly influenced our current war strategies in
this
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 contemporary world. From an
overall
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 perspective, understanding and reasoning the problem is playing a key role
for
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in
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 the development of humanity. Since
,
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apply
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past
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the past
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 partially reflects the future.

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly states your position on the statement in a more concise manner. This will help improve clarity in your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain consistency in verb tenses to improve the overall flow. For instance, be cautious with phrases like 'human is' instead of 'humans are.'
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (such as 'additionally,' 'furthermore,' or 'in conclusion') to guide the reader and enhance the connection between ideas.
task achievement
You provided a thoughtful and relevant example from childhood experience, showing how knowledge is gained through overcoming difficulties.
task achievement
Your essay includes a historical perspective that adds depth to your argument, making it more engaging for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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