In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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it is argued that youngsters,in some nations, tend to follow practical curricula rather than attending third-level educational establishments.
This
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essay claims that saving precious years is the prime benefit of
this
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option,
whereas
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the
fact
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that
students
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don't have access to lucrative
jobs
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is the main downside. Nowadays, numerous people prefer to enrol in work-based training and avoid following academic programs.
This
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is primarily because a wide
protion
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proportion
of
students
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desire to work fast, without spending too
much
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many
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years in the
university
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. Indeed, most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical
jobs
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,
such
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traditional
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as traditional
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crafts, don't
compulsory
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apply
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require
an
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apply
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academic
knnowledge
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knowledge
.
Hence
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,
students
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who, for some
reasons
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reason
show examples
, are in need of
laboring
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labouring
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as fast as possible, tend to follow work-based programs, so they are capable of earning money and stop being
financial
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financially
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burdens for their families. Becoming a butcher
for instance
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, only demands a 6 month practical training, which is far shorter than spending many years in a third-level educational institution, learning about useless subjects to practice that job. Saving time is the consequential cause that may justify the aforementioned choice.
However
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, it would
also
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be fair to recognize that graduates from the
university
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can access
to
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apply
show examples
more profitable
jobs
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than learners who attend
this
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type of training. In
fact
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, superior degree holders feature noteworthy diplomas that allow them to obtain well-paid posts.As a matter of
fact
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,
highest
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the highest
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salaries are given to citizens that
followed
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follow
show examples
academic curricula in the
university
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such
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as doctors and
lawers
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lawyers
show examples
for example
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.
Therefore
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, saving time
in that case
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, in that case,
show examples
doesn't mandatory means saving money, since graduates from the
university
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are
inlecutably
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ineluctably
overpaid compared to those who
enroled
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enrolled
in
a
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apply
show examples
work-based training. In conclusion, the advantages that practical programs bring to
students
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,
such
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as the
fact
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that they save time to reach their purpose, must be weighed against the drawbacks,
such
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as the limited amount of money they would make by reason of the
jobs
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these
trainings
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training
pieces of training
show examples
allow them to
practie
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practise
practice

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the main idea well, but consider rephrasing to improve clarity and grammatical accuracy. Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines both the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus. Consider separating points more distinctly to enhance clarity. For instance, discuss the advantages more fully before moving to disadvantages in dedicated paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, as they can distract from the overall argument. For example, 'knnowledge' should be 'knowledge' and 'lawers' should be 'lawyers'.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies a clear topic and provides a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
You use relevant examples, such as the case of a butcher, to support your points; this helps illustrate your argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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