IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in thair life time? Discuss both views & give your opinion

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Nowadays migration in many countries is higher than in others, there are many aspects to consider when
people
Use synonyms
 want to stay in the same place
while
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 others prefer to live in different places,
Correct word choice
and
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this
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 essay will show both sides.
First,
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normally when
people
Use synonyms
 do not want to leave their home it is related to the
affect
Replace the word
effect
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 that they feel for that place, the sense of community and familiarity,
such
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 as, someone can have his best friend in the same street where they grew up, having beautiful memories about their friendship. Now it will be the same for their children.
also
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, considering that they are going to have a very strong support network.
Also
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, another important consideration in the family, in Latin America family is really important and is very popular that everyone meets in the same place to celebrate whatever they want. On the other side, cultural exposure used to be one of the principal reasons for the person who wants to live in multiple places, the opportunity to meet different groups of
people
Use synonyms
 could enforce their personal growth becoming a worldwide person.
Additionally
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, the economic aspect is another aspect that
people
Use synonyms
 consider when they prefer to migrate,
for example
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, Colombian
people
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 very famous because the migration is high to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different countries looking for better opportunities related to their personal finances and to have success in their careers.
To conclude
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, one of the principal factors to migrate is the sense of looking forward to a better life mainly when the national conditions are not easy to have a better quality of life. For me, migrating to another country is a hard decision because you have nothing for sure but, if
this
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 person doesn't have a job or good possibilities for a better life migrating could be a good idea.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on developing a clearer outline before writing to strengthen the logical flow of your ideas, ensuring each paragraph connects smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and details to support your points, which will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
general advice
Ensure proper grammar and vocabulary usage, as this can distract the reader from your message. A careful proofreading could help catch errors.
task achievement
You've presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for a discussion essay.
task achievement
Your essay touches on cultural and economic factors, which adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contentment
  • stability
  • sense of community
  • familiarity
  • deep-rooted relationships
  • exposure to cultures
  • personal growth
  • diverse groups
  • worldview
  • job mobility
  • career opportunities
  • family considerations
  • emotional implications
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • stagnation
  • fulfillment
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