Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is an argued issue whether
animals
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are not kept in closed spaces, it will inhibit their freedom
while
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others think
zoos
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are beneficial to protect endangered species . In my opinion , it should be used the other alternative ways in order to protect wild
animals
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,
such
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as game parks ,
wildlife
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reserves or sanctuaries. Commencing with the most prominent reason why
zoos
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are not safe places and need to be locked down because wild
animals
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like their own space to roam around the area , and cages for them look like a strangulation . We saw heaps of news about wild
animals
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in
zoos
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. They look lazy in the cages and whenever the public visits the
zoo
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then
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they show their aggressive behaviour towards common people .
Zoos
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are not only lead to the sick behaviour of
animals
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but
also
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responsible for their cruelty.
For example
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, a lion likes to live in the forest but in a cage does not feel comfortable.
Thus
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, limited space inhibits their boundaries.
However
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, other
thinks
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think
show examples
that
zoos
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are good for preserving endangered species
such
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as deer and polo bears.In
zoos
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, staff can look after them , when they are breeding the staff can give proper care and save them from predators . And another
way
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,
zoo
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is boosting the economy of the country . In
newzealnd
Correct your spelling
Newzealand
new Zealand
, at the
zoo
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in
haumaona
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Haumaona
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, the visitors need to get feed from inside the
zoo
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and it's a good source to make money
while
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selling feed and entry tickets
As a result
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, the
zoo
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is a
way
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to earn money. In my opinion , the government should follow another
way
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to protect them , there is a
wildlife
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sanctuary where anyone can keep an eye on them without putting them in a cage. With the help of
this
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way
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,they can enjoy their freedom. Visitors and students
,
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apply
show examples
can learn and explore
wildlife
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through the internet or with a
wildlife
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tour . In conclusion ,
although
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zoo
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is made up to protect
wildlife
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there are other methods as well like
wildlife
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sanctuaries .
According to
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me
this
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method will help not only to improve the quality of life but
also
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to protect the species
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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are on the edge of extinction.

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Task Achievement
Enhance the introduction by clearly outlining the arguments of both viewpoints before presenting your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer transitions between points to enhance the flow of ideas and ensure the reader can follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments about the benefits of wildlife sanctuaries versus zoos.
Task Achievement
You express a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for your task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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