IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not unhealthy but affect the nature too. Do you think the advantages of GM food outweigh the drawbacks?

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To meet the growing needs of
food
Use synonyms
 for an increasing population
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 should make use of genetically engineered
food
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however
Linking Words
,
smoke
Correct your spelling
some
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 people believe that
GM
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is not unhealthy and affects nature too. Do you think the advantages of
GM
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food
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 outweigh the drawbacks
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Many individuals believe that to counter the growing
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 in the population
is for
Verb problem
,
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 the country to use the advantages of genetically engineered
food
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whereas
Linking Words
, other people say
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
Use synonyms
gm
Correct your spelling
GM
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 is both
harm full
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harmful
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 and is destroying our nature and motherland. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as genetically engineered
food
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 creates
lots
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 of pollution and is highly unhealthy. First of all, the process of creating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genetically engineered
food
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 uses a lot of resources
such
Linking Words
 as coal and fuel
Therefore
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, creating
lots
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 of
smokes
Fix the agreement mistake
smoke
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 and increasing
a
Correct article usage
the
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 chance of causing an explosion or worse especially if the factory does not have
a good safety measures
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good safety measure
good safety measures
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 which can cause not only fire hazards but
also
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 other problems.
For example
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, if a factory burns down it could endanger the animals, the forest and
human
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humans
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 causing
lots
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 of deaths and many problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
, even though
GM
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food
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 has
lots
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 of benefits
to
Change preposition
for
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 the growing population the drawback outweighs it since
GM
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food
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 is very unhealthy it could lead to more men and women going in and out of the hospital,
this
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also
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 makes people spend less on these consumables.
For example
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, if these consumables make individuals sick and unable to work they'd have to spend their savings on hospital bills which leads to them not being able to pay for their needs
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
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, making them avoid buying the foods completely. In conclusion, even though genetically engineered
food
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 might seem like a good solution to these problems it comes with more disadvantages and drawbacks than benefits.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider revising your introduction to clearly state your opinion about the advantages and disadvantages of GM foods. Be sure to frame the topic carefully, and avoid run-on sentences.
language use
Address grammar errors such as 'smoke people' which should probably be 'some people.' Double-check sentence structures to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your points are interesting. However, you could improve your argument by providing more details about the benefits of GM foods, which would create a more balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your paragraphs with topic sentences that highlight the main idea for each paragraph. This will help improve your logical structure.
task achievement
You have shown your understanding of the topic and expressed a clear opinion against GM foods, which adds to your task response.
task achievement
The essay addresses key concerns about GM foods, including health risks and environmental impacts, which are relevant to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • genetically modified organisms (GMOs)
  • crop yield
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • pesticides
  • herbicides
  • biodiversity
  • cross-contamination
  • novel genes
  • public perception
  • transparency
  • economic benefits
What to do next:
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