IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degree. Therefore, the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals while they are in prison. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Crime
Use synonyms
 is
threat
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a threat
show examples
 to society of any country, it
cause
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causes
show examples
 chaos,fear,excessive expenses and so on.
Researchs
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Research
Researches
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that people who have educational
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 tend to commit
offense
Fix the agreement mistake
offenses
show examples
 less. So, educating criminals who are in prison can be
solution
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the solution
a solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reducing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore
this
Linking Words
 idea in
details
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detail
show examples
 and explain why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Many people propose that offenders need to be taught academic subjects by
goverments
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governments
government
. Because
Statiscics
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Statistics
 represent that
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
propotion
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proportion
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 is committed
due to
Linking Words
 lack of
education
Use synonyms
 or just jobless.
Education
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 in prison
help
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helps
show examples
 them to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
 back to society. If they learn
job
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a job
show examples
 or some form of profession
while
Linking Words
 in imprisonment, when they will be free, their occupation will allow them to earn enough money to live
from
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in
show examples
 legal ways.
For instance
Linking Words
, some countries have already started a campaign
which
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in which
show examples
 they teach a former prisoner to IT,
bussines
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business
, crafts and other spheres. Why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
also
Linking Words
 support
this
Linking Words
 idea
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because
according to
Linking Words
 statistics,
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
education
Use synonyms
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
recurrence
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the recurrence
show examples
 of crimes.
in addition
Linking Words
, a person who
have
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has
show examples
a certain professions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a certain profession
certain professions
show examples
 will never go back to the streets of
crime
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in counties
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
show examples
Norwey
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Norway
,
Swetzerland
Correct word choice
and Swetzerland
show examples
,
Netherland
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Netherlands
show examples
 where
his
Change the word
the
show examples
 imprisonment system is based on
education
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate is
very
Rephrase
much
show examples
lower
Correct word choice
low
show examples
. I suppose that it is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial to
economy
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the economy
show examples
 of the country.
This
Linking Words
 is because when
lawbreaker
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lawbreakers
show examples
 find a job,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 to pay
tax
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taxes
show examples
 and other social payments. In conclusion, providing prisoners with
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 of receiving jobs can be the key to
decline
Change the form of the verb
declining
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate. it
also
Linking Words
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to
adjut
Correct your spelling
adapt
 to society and minimize
Correct article usage
the probabilty
show examples
probabilty
Correct your spelling
probability
 of
recurrence
Correct article usage
the recurrence
show examples
 of
criminiality
Correct your spelling
criminality
. So
this
Linking Words
 way will be beneficial for both
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 and
criminials
Correct your spelling
criminals
criminal
 in the long term.

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grammatical accuracy
Ensure proper spelling and grammar; for example, 'goverments' should be 'governments' and 'Statiscics' should be 'Statistics'.
cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas, especially in connecting sentences and paragraphs; consider using linking words for better transitions.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments; mention research findings or credible sources.
content
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic and effectively express your agreement with the statement.
structure
The overall structure of your essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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