IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

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It is argued that in certain
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 youth are not using their right to vote .
This
Linking Words
 would
unable
Correct your spelling
enable
show examples
 political
change
Use synonyms
 in the nation . It is important to have political
change
Use synonyms
 and it would
also
Linking Words
 result in policies made that are not beneficial for young people. The solution
for
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 problem is spreading awareness among youth and participating in the generation. We must
to
Change the verb form
apply
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tell the young generation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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how important is to
change
Use synonyms
 the political government in some regions. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 regional democracy
have
Change the verb form
has
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 only one way to
change
Use synonyms
 the democracy
that is
Linking Words
 through casting votes . We
must
Verb problem
apply
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need to acquire campaigns and
gathering
Wrong verb form
gather
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 for spreading information telling adults how important voting is and the role played in democracy .
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 thousands of young adults from developing countries immigrate to European countries because they are unhappy with the performance of their government. One way to tackle these issues is to inform these people about the power of
vote
Add an article
the vote
show examples
 . Promoting young people to come
in
Change preposition
into
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 politics.
This
Linking Words
 will make them
representing
Verb problem
make
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 their voices heard . In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 neglecting to vote by the young generation would delay the necessary government
change
Use synonyms
 and laws made that are not in their favour .

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both the problems and solutions that will be discussed in the essay. This will provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and grammatical accuracy of sentences. For example, phrases like 'this would unable political change' could be rephrased to 'this limits the potential for political change'.
task achievement
Support points in your paragraphs with more specific examples or explanations to enhance understanding and relevancy, especially in discussing the problems and solutions of voting neglect.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay. This will help guide the reader through your ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
The essay addresses relevant issues regarding youth voting and presents some potential solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
There are attempts to use examples to illustrate points, which is a positive aspect in developing arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
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