IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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The
use
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 of
bicycles
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 as
form
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a form
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 of transportation has been on a downward trend in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times. I will explain the reason for the decline and how can we push more
people
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 to
use
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bicycles
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. In the near past around 30-40 years ago,
people
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 mostly used
bicycles
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 as a form of transportation, not only for short distances but
also
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 long
distance
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distances
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.
This
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 was
due to
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 the low cost of owning and operating a
bicycle
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 compared to other means
transport
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of transport
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. Buying a
bicycle
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 was relatively cheap compared to
cars
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 or
plane
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planes
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 and by that time
cars
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 were only bought by the rich and royalties. But today
cars
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 have become affordable for the general public and schemes
such
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 as loans have
enable
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enabled
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people
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 to buy
cars
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. Most roads that are built today, focus more on the structure of a car and leaving little to no space for
people
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 to
use
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Use synonyms
bicycle
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bicycles
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.
Such
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 factors have played a huge role in reducing the number of
bicycle
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 users in the world. Another reason why
bicycle
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use
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 has dwindled is
due to
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 the association of
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bicycle
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bicycles
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 with a lower social class.
People
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 believe that when you own a
bicycle
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, it is because you cannot afford to buy a car.
This
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atitude
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attitude
 towards
bicycles
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have
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has
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 reduced
it's
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its
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owerniship
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ownership
 as most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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people
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dont
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don't
 want to be
assumed
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considered
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 poor. Ways in which we can increase the
use
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 of
bicycles
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 is through educating
people
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the
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on the
show examples
 importance of
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bicycle
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bicycles
show examples
 to our health compared to other means of transport. When cycling your body burns a lot of calories for energy, which is important to reduce the risk of obesity and
thus
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 improving our health. Creating awareness on how the
bicycle
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 conserves the
enviroment
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environment
 compared to other means of transport.
Cars
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, planes and trains produce excessive carbon dioxide which
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is harmfull
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harmfull
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harmful
 to
environment
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the environment
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 but
bicycle
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 has zero
emission
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emissions
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,
this
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 can encourage
people
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 to
use
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bicycles
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 more so as to conserve the environment. The increase
on
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in
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usage
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the usage
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 of
bicycles
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 good results both
to
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for
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 our
body
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bodies
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 and
environment
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the environment
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. With its
increase
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increase,
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 we can see
positive
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a positive
the positive
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 outcome.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should address a specific point to improve clarity and flow.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or statistics to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
language accuracy
Check for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'atitude' should be 'attitude', 'owership' should be 'ownership', 'enviroment' should be 'environment'). This will improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay effectively identifies the main reasons for the decline in bicycle usage and offers potential solutions, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with distinct points made in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
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