IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree. What other solutions can you offer?

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The recent rising environmental issues are undeniable. To overcome these problems, some argue that raising the prices of fuel is the best way.
However
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, I do not tend to agree with
this
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 opinion as fuels are not the only dangerous materials here.
To begin
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 with, increased expenses of using fuel would only result in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 cars on the roads, higher electricity bills and
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
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 in products based on these chemicals. Clearly,
this
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 would just
make
Verb problem
reduce
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 air pollution
to reduce
Verb problem
apply
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a little bit, as it is not possible to clear the roads and stop using electricity completely.
In contrast
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, even if
such
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 a task was possible, it would not help the situation that much because the quality of air is just one of the many factors, which include dumping garbage in the seas, global warming and changes in the climate.
On the other hand
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, there are better fixes which can be utilized to help with
this
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 matter.
For instance
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, in many nations, there are no useful public transport methods, so people have no other choice but to rely on their private cars, no matter how much gas costs.
In addition
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, in some rural places garbage is burned because there is no other way to dump them.
As a result
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, many toxic gases are released into the air which, to be
honest
Add the comma(s)
honest,
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 can be more dangerous than exhaust fumes. Investing money to remove
such
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 problems will definitely be more beneficial than making the price of already expensive fuels go higher.
In contrast
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, it is shown that perfect public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 can reduce to number of cars on the roads to almost half.
To sum up
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,
while
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 it might seem the best way to decrease the use of fuel, it is not so efficient to be counted on, let alone that they are expensive enough already.
Instead
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, if governments take the responsibility to offer better public transport methods or make suitable lands for garbage dumping, much better results would appear.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider utilizing more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between your ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific details and examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance that is consistent throughout, indicating a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion summarizes the main points well.
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