IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph compares the
propration
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who eat in junk
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 repeatedly during three years ( 2003 , 2006 , and 2013 ) in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 several different
times
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Add an article
a year
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
 , It can seen that
people
Use synonyms
preferred
Add the particle
preferred to
show examples
 eat in fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
once a week or
a
Change the article
an
show examples
amonth
Correct your spelling
month
a month
.
However
Linking Words
 , the
figure
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to eat unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 every day or never was very little.
To begin
Linking Words
 with , the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
figure
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
a nece
Correct your spelling
once
 a week or a month was just
overs
Correct your spelling
over
show examples
, 35 % in
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2005 and 2013 . And
then
Linking Words
, it follows 2003 with around 30 % . The second highest rank percentage who eat from
restaurants
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
several
times
Use synonyms
 a week was in 2006 , with 20 % , and in 2003 and 2013 , with just above 15 % . Meanwhile , the
figure
Use synonyms
 witnessed in
both
Use synonyms
 three years at around 15 % for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 eat a few
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
similarity
Replace the word
was similar
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
 three years at around 15 % for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 eat a few
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
. Regarding the smallest
figure
Use synonyms
 for
both
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 never go to eat at
restaurants
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
show examples
 don't go to eat every day , with just under 5 % during the
periad
Correct your spelling
period
 between 2003 and 2013
moreover
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 should take care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their health
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in the type of
food
Use synonyms
 they eat .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, restaurants, times, year, figure, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: