A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any

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Oil
Use synonyms

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has become a primary source of energy production,major countries are spending big
sum
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sums

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of
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the search
of
Change preposition
for

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crude
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
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, I believe that it is
adviseable
Correct your spelling
advisable

The word adviseable doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to
uitilze
Correct your spelling
utilise

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this
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part of
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for the development of renewable sources like solar
system
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systems

It seems that system may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and wind power. First and
formost
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foremost

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,
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not only sustainable but
also
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damaging the environment which is one of the suppresing
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues

The singular countable noun issue follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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.
Firstly
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companies spend
lot
Change the article
a lot

It appears that the phrase lot does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to locate,extract and clean that
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and people purchase it for their daily basis
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs

It seems that need may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. it leading
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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cause of climate change, contributing to greenhouse gas emissions,air
pollurtion
Correct your spelling
pollution

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, and ecological destruction.
In contrast
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, renewable
source
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sources

It seems that source may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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like solar and wind are clean and sustainable, reducing the negative effects on the planet.Countries like Germany and Sweden have
alrready
Correct your spelling
already

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installed and significantly
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb contributing. Consider changing it.

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in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the reduction of carbon emissions.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, renewable energy is becoming increasingly
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective

It seems that cost effective is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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.
Advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
Advancements

It seems that Advancement may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology

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have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject Advancement. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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significantly lowered the cost of solar panels and wind turbines, making them viable alternatives to fossil fuels.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, investing in renewables not only
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates

It seems that the verb create does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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new job opportunities which will help to eliminate unemployment but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will reduce the dependence on
oil
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

possesed
Correct your spelling
possessed

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Change preposition
by nation
show examples
Change preposition
by nation

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
along with
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economic growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words

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, people who are in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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favor
Change the spelling
favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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to invest
Change preposition
of investing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to find
oil
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe

It seems that the verb believes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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that
its
Change the pronoun
it

It appears that the pronoun its should not be in the possessive form. Consider changing it.

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meets the emergency needs of any country and replacing it will bring a sudden scarcity of
electrcity
Correct your spelling
electricity

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which will reduce the
productvity
Correct your spelling
productivity

If you don’t want productvity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of any business and economic growth of
country
Add an article
the country
a country

The noun phrase country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun changes in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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gradual changes in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

system are suggestable. In conclusion, it can be said that there is no doubt that
oil
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has become
as
Correct your spelling
a

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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vital part of every industry but environmental damage can not be ignored. Government and people should take collective actions to install renewable
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources

It seems that source may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of energy for the betterment of
environment
Add an article
the environment

The noun phrase environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings

It seems that being may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread for errors in spelling and grammar, such as 'adviseable' (advisable), 'uitilze' (utilize), 'suppresing' (suppressing), 'first and formost' (first and foremost), and 'pollurtion' (pollution). These errors can affect clarity and professionalism.
structure
Your introduction could be clearer in outlining your main argument. Consider explicitly stating your position on the issue, such as 'I strongly believe that more money should be invested in renewable energy sources instead of searching for oil.' This will help the reader understand your perspective from the outset.
cohesion
In your body paragraphs, remember to link your statements back to your main argument more clearly. While you have provided valid points about the environmental and economic benefits of renewable energy, make sure each point relates directly back to why this investment should replace oil exploration.
content
To improve your conclusion, restate the main points more clearly and emphasize the importance of action. For example, you could mention specific steps that governments could take to facilitate a transition to renewable energy, thereby making your conclusion more impactful.
examples
You have provided some relevant examples such as the successful implementation of renewable energy in countries like Germany and Sweden, which strengthens your argument.
relevance
Your discussion of the environmental impacts of oil and the cost-effectiveness of renewable energy sources is relevant and timely, reflecting a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: