IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. Do you agree or disagree?

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As we see there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of various
advancements
Use synonyms
 in
technology
Use synonyms
 are coming up today. which makes
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us for day to day
activitices
Correct your spelling
activities
. as
per
Change preposition
of
show examples
 today there are
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 in
crime
Use synonyms
 rate
due to
Linking Words
 the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
, which will helps preventing and
sloving
Correct your spelling
solve
crime
Use synonyms
 scenes. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 new outcome with
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 in
technology
Use synonyms
 to prevent
crime
Use synonyms
 and reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 cases.
To begin
Linking Words
 with modern surveillance
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 like CCTV cameras, Face Recognition and
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
 Intelligence tracking
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
be improve
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 prevention.
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 tools
are monitor
Change the verb form
monitor
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and identify criminals more quickly.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Additionally
Linking Words
, forensic
advancements
Use synonyms
 and data analytics help law enforcement solve cases more effectively,
increaseing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 the
chabce
Correct your spelling
chance
chances
 of catching
crimals
Correct your spelling
criminals
.
let
Add a missing verb
let's
show examples
 take
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 example, in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1980, 15 years old girl from
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, got gang raped and killed in
late night
Add a hyphen
late-night
show examples
 street. the
unknow
Correct your spelling
unknown
show examples
 innocent person got passed by finished
crime
Use synonyms
seen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. the cop saw him as a
crime
Use synonyms
 taken by him and mistaken him. law made him serve 20 years in jail. after
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
passed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, he
got
Verb problem
was
show examples
 released from jail as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 innocent,
due to
Linking Words
advancements
Use synonyms
forensic
Change preposition
in forensic
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
, It
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
 him to prove his innocence.
Furthremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, cybersecurity
advancements
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
technology
Change preposition
in technology
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 made it easier
tp
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
privent
Correct your spelling
prevent
 online
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
scam
Fix the agreement mistake
scams
show examples
, fraud and
identitu
Correct your spelling
identity
 theft. Biometric authentication and
AI Based
Add a hyphen
AI-Based
show examples
frade detction
Correct your spelling
fraud detection
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
significently
Correct your spelling
significantly
 reduce finance
crrimes
Correct your spelling
crimes
. example Smart home security
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, are the remote monitoring alerts In conclusion,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
technological
advancements
Use synonyms
 have certainly improved
crime
Use synonyms
 prevention and detection catching criminals and
decline
Change the form of the verb
declining
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 rate.

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language
Try to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'various advancements' instead of 'there are lot of various advancements', and 'which makes it easier for us' instead of 'which makes easier to us'.
structure
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on one main point. This will strengthen the overall coherence of your essay.
style
Use a more formal tone throughout the essay. For instance, avoid conversational phrases such as 'let take with real life example'—instead, you could say, 'For example' or 'Consider the case of.'
content
You provide relevant examples to support your argument about the impact of technology on crime rates, which is a key element of task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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