Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone Why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or negative development?

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These days, spending a lot of

time

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on smartphones has become a popular trend among younger generations.

This

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essay discusses the main reasons for

this

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obstacle;

moreover

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this

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fashion is a negative development owing to the fact that it has an adverse effect on their health and abilities. Investing too much

time

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in electronic gadgets is a result of changing the method of learning and pastimes. The fact

that is

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really important is that in the technology age, the Internet creates a chance for the youth who live all around the world to have access to the best educational resources.

As a result

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, young people spend a great deal of

time

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searching and learning them.

In addition

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, the youth believe that the new gadgets are the best item for their leisure

time

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inasmuch as they can use them for playing video games, chatting with their friends, watching movies, and so on.

This

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development has an adverse influence on their health because when young people spend their day on their smartphones, they do not have any activity.

In other words

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, after the short run, they become at risk of a range of ills,

such

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as Obesity, heart attack, and so forth.

Furthermore

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, if they invest nearly 1 or 2 hours learning a new skill rather than a smartphone, they have better job opportunities. In fact,

this

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fashion prevents their success.

To sum up

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, the usage of electronic devices, in the long run, is a consequence of a new way of education and performance for teenagers to use these items for entertainment.

While

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, in my opinion, it is an unfavourable development that impacts their physical health and their future careers.

maryamkazemi968Tue Feb 18 2025

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Task Achievement

Try to introduce more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, when discussing health risks, mention studies or statistics that illustrate the impact of smartphone overuse on children's health. This will enhance your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using more varied transition phrases to improve the flow of your arguments. This will help to create a smoother connection between your ideas and make your essay easier to follow for the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure that each point you present in your paragraphs is clearly related to the main argument of your essay. This will help maintain focus and provide clarity for your readers.

Task Achievement

You have effectively stated your opinion in a clear manner, which is essential for task achievement. Your thesis presents a clear position on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction succinctly summarizes the topic and outlines the structure of your essay well, making it easy for readers to understand what to expect.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Engrossed
Distracted
Addictive
Digital natives
Virtual reality
Interactive
Online gaming
Social media platforms
Connectivity
Social engagement
Information access
Learning tools
Peer influence
Societal pressure
Alternative activities
Recreational facilities

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone Why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree?

nowdays many people travel do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

Some people say that the prevention of health problems is more important than the treatment of illness and disease and that Government funding should reflect this?What is your opinion?