IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Scientists predict that in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. What might be the reasons for this? Would this be a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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There is no denying the fact that technological advancement has brought many other results.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
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why cars will be driven by computers
instead
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 and
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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 it's
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 or negative thing followed by some reasons.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons
for
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apply
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why in
non-distant
Correct article usage
the non-distant
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 future robots will replace
people
Use synonyms
 and drive their cars.
Firstly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 are being more busier than ever.
In other words
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, they can utilize
their
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the
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 time
have
Wrong verb form
that has
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 been spent on driving to do their work and tasks.
In addition
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 with disabilities can go anywhere without asking
help
Change preposition
for help
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 from anyone else. In terms of
is
Correct word choice
whether is
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 it a positive or negative thing, in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
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 it is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 development.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement to reflect both the discussion of reasons and your opinion about the development. It's important to state clearly whether you believe this shift is positive or negative right in the introduction for a better flow.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention particular groups of people who would benefit from automated cars or specific advancements in technology that make this change possible.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the use of transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your ideas. Phrases like 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' can help guide the reader through your reasoning more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure grammatical structures are correct, such as 'weather' which should be 'whether'. Also consider revising sentences for clarity and correctness, for example, 'being busier than ever' instead of 'more busier than ever.'
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion on the topic by stating that you view it as a positive development.
task achievement
You successfully identified some relevant reasons supporting the use of robots in driving, which lays a good foundation for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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