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Writing Samples
Band 7

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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There have been many important
inventions
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 throughout human history,
such
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 as the wheel, electricity and the telephone. Some
people
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 believe that the
Internet
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 is the greatest invention ever created. I largely agree with
this
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 opinion because the
Internet
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 has revolutionised
communication
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 and provided unlimited access to information worldwide.
To begin
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 with, one major reason why the
Internet
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 is considered the most important invention is that it has dramatically improved global
communication
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. In the past,
people
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 had to wait days or even weeks to exchange information through letters or traditional forms of
communication
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.
However
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, thanks to the
Internet
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, individuals can now communicate instantly through emails, video calls and social media platforms regardless of geographical distance.
For example
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, students are able to study online with teachers from other countries,
while
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 businesses can cooperate internationally more efficiently.
As a result
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, the
Internet
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 has connected
people
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 around the world more closely than ever before.
Furthermore
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, another significant benefit of the
Internet
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 is its ability to provide access to enormous amounts of knowledge and information. Nowadays,
people
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 can easily search for educational materials, scientific research or current news within seconds.
This
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 has greatly improved learning opportunities and encouraged innovation in many fields.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, millions of students continued their education through online learning platforms thanks to
Internet
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 technology.
Consequently
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, the
Internet
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 plays a vital role in education, healthcare, entertainment and modern economies.
On the other hand
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,
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apply
show examples
some
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Some
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people
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 argue that other
inventions
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,
such
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 as electricity or the wheel, are more fundamental because modern society could not function without them. To some extent, I agree with
this
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 viewpoint since these
inventions
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 created the foundation for technological development.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that the
Internet
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 has had the most significant impact on daily life in the modern era
due to
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 global influence and versatility. In conclusion,
although
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 many
inventions
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 have contributed greatly to human civilisation, I strongly believe that the
Internet
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 is one of the most important
inventions
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 because it has transformed
communication
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 and made knowledge more accessible to
people
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 worldwide.

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coherence and cohesion
Write a full idea in the line about the other side. Now it breaks the flow a bit.
task response
Add one more clear example for why the Internet is the top invention. This will make your point stronger.
task response
Show your opinion in an even more direct way in the middle of the essay, not only at the start and end.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words with care. Most are good, but make sure each new part joins smoothly to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, so it is easy to follow.
task response
You answer the question well and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Your main points are supported with real and useful examples, like online study in COVID-19.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, which helps the reader understand your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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