Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a child having a large number of toys?

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First of

all

Add a comma

all,

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I think we should ask what type of toys the children are playing with , because

Change the preposition

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my opinion the toys that are related to mind games or make the

child

Use synonyms

work

his\her

Correct your spelling

his

brain are very useful , and make a magnificent impact on the

child

Use synonyms

jurney

Correct your spelling

journey

. Now lets see , there are some advantages

such

Linking Words

as I mentioned mind thinking toys

also

Linking Words

I would say that the

child

Use synonyms

may feel that love from his\her

parents

Use synonyms

by giving them what they like but I wouldn't

suggested

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suggest

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to be the only way to show love from the

parents

Use synonyms

but its

one

Use synonyms

of them as a gift and it's a great impact on the

child

Use synonyms

feeling , who's not happy when they receive a gift right ?, but I would say that giving a

child

Use synonyms

whatever they wanted could reflect badly

at the end

Linking Words

. Here

some

Add a missing verb

are some

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disadvantages

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my opinion ,

first

Correct article usage

the first

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one

Use synonyms

, and I think

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

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the most important

one

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, is that the

child

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can get spoiled and difficult to

plese

Correct your spelling

please

in the future , plus they may not appreciate the

Use synonyms

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

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hard work , maybe the

parents

Use synonyms

don't feel it right

a way

Correct your spelling

away

show examples

when

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

kids are still young but definitely well see the bad impact on

there

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their

show examples

child

Use synonyms

when they grow and become

a teenagers

Correct the article-noun agreement

teenagers

a teenager

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, it can be hard to raise them at some point when they are used to something and suddenly it

taken

Add the auxiliary verb

took

has taken

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a way

Correct your spelling

away

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from them , that's why its better to keep

every thing

Correct your spelling

everything

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in balance from

Remove the article

apply

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childhood so there used to it and it

dosen't

Correct your spelling

doesn't

get difficult for the

Use synonyms

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

letter on .

Linking Words

Lastly

Add a comma

Lastly,

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I would like to add that love can be shown

Change preposition

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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many different ways

one

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of them is buying gifts but not all , I think the best gift that

parents

Use synonyms

could give

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

child

Use synonyms

is to spend time with them

while

Linking Words

making sure that

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

future is secure

halaalmuwayshirTue Feb 18 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Try to make your introduction clearer by briefly outlining the points you will discuss in the essay. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing. This will help keep the reader engaged and improve coherence.

task achievement

Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors, as they can detract from your overall message. Proofreading your work can help catch these small mistakes.

task achievement

Strengthen your arguments by providing specific examples or scenarios that illustrate your points about the advantages and disadvantages of children having many toys.

task achievement

You have tackled both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced view.

task achievement

Your concluding statement effectively summarizes your thoughts on love and parenting, indicating a personal reflection on the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

329 words

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Nowadays there are an increasing number of people who prefer to hire a personal fitness trainer rather than to play sports or to do exercise classes.

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a child having a large number of toys?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree?

It is sad that life is becoming increasingly stressful for most people. What is the reason of this phenomenon and how could this problem be solved?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?