IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own point of view.

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Frequently discussed the opposite questions
such
Linking Words
 as:”What is more important in public transportation? Is it
a
Correct article usage
apply
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building
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
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 lines for out-of-city trains or increasing
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of city
transport
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I would like to explain my own point of view with numerous examples, and
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
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 information about different aspects of
this
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 problem. I would like to admit that in my own
life
Add a comma
life,
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 I have a
big
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
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 experience in
journey
Correct pronoun usage
my journey
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, I visited more than 30 countries during
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 10 years. And in every of these
places
Add a comma
places,
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 I observed different situations in the public
transport
Use synonyms
 system. Evidently
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the biggest country
of
Change preposition
in
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 Europe has a developed system of railway infrastructure between
cities
Use synonyms
 and
dense
Correct article usage
a dense
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 network of wheeled
transport
Use synonyms
 in the town.
This
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 design resolved
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of problems.
For example
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, individuals needn’t worry about parking, auto insurance,
car
Correct word choice
or car
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 repair. They can live not just in the megalopolises, thanks to out-of-
cities
Use synonyms
 trains people can live in the countryside. I believe that life in the suburbs is more comfortable and not as expensive as in the big
cities
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with opponents who want to make public transportation more accessible, comfortable and affordable.
On the other hand
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,
transport
Use synonyms
 between
cities
Use synonyms
 should be more accessible too. And the network between
cities
Use synonyms
 should expand to other regions, including tiny villages. In conclusion, I would like to summarize that both of the opponents make sense. Because every one of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 problems is vital and government should pay attention to both of them.

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the introduction to make it clearer and more direct. Define the key terms better and state your opinion more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with relevant examples. Some points made could be expanded or could benefit from additional information.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the conclusion by clearly restating your main points and your opinion, instead of simply summarizing the positions.
task achievement
You provide insightful observations from your personal experience, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of the essay is generally clear, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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