Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is argued that numerous first-rate sectors
such
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as
healtcare
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healthcare
, communications and transportation overwhelmingly depend on
computer
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breakthough
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breakthrough
, which may be
deterrent
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a deterrent
show examples
to our society.
This
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essay completely agrees with
this
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statement because
this
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technoology
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technology
is not viable at 100% and
also
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because it
consitently
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consistently
rquires
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requires
electric
energy
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to run. It is conspicuous that
computers
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aren'
t
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viable to ensure a sustainable activity in sectors that are based on
computer
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science. Indeed,
computers
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are
machines
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that were set up by scientists in order to carry out several tasks and to make our lives easier.
However
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, every device features limits and is likely to break down.
Furthermore
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, some innovations,
such
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as artificial intelligence (AI), aren'
t
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reliable in managing every type of
occurence
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occurrence
, as
machines
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can'
t
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think by themselves, they are simply programmed to deal with specific situations. A prime example would be
machines
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that, by using AI, are capable of accomplishing surgical acts.It is certainly hazardous to let appliances
managing
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manage
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human lives since they are not able to adapt to unexpected
occurences
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occurrences
. The second reason why overreliance on
computer
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technology would be damaging to the community is that these
machines
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run by using electric
energy
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. In fact, affording
energy
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remains a great challenge that nations are facing nowadays
,
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apply
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because the current
energyr
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energy
esources
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resources
sources
are
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that are
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not environmentally friendly
are
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and are
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likely to expire.In
this
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regard, whether primarily needed sectors
such
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as medicine, are dependent on
computers
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, they
are
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also rely
show examples
also
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rely on electricity.
Hence
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, lacking
this
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type of
energy
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, even for one single day, would be chaotic for the economy and for every type of activity.
For instance
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, doctors are in need of electricity to use
computers
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and fulfil their missions.
Thus
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, if an electricity cut
occures
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occurs
,
computers
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will be obsolete and
patient
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patients
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won'
t
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be rescued. In
conclsuion
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conclusion
, our dependency on
computer
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technology is indubitably harmful as it may lead to adverse ramifications whether
this
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technology
break
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breaks
show examples
down or when there is a power deficiency.

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines your position in a straightforward manner to enhance clarity. Also, define any key terms or concepts if necessary.
coherence
Work on improving transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of the essay. Each paragraph should connect logically to the next to maintain cohesion throughout.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and develop your points fully to support your arguments. This will strengthen your position and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your ability to identify the potential risks of relying on computer technology is commendable. You've presented a critical perspective that adds depth to your argument.
coherence
The paragraph structure is clear, which makes it easier for the reader to follow your line of argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
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