IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is argued that individuals who claim that
globalisation
Use synonyms
 is not a beneficial phenomenon for societies are on the opposite side of progress.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement because
globalisation
Use synonyms
 ensures
peace
Use synonyms
 in the
world
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 and it is financially advantageous for nations. It is conspicuous that
globalisation
Use synonyms
 is the engine of
peace
Use synonyms
 on the Earth.
This
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 is because when human beings share common interests and aims, they don't have any benefit in triggering wars. In fact,
peace
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 is a prime condition for every
evolvement
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evolution
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 and when diverse communities feature
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 goals, they are indubitably in
peace
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.
Hence
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,
globalisation
Use synonyms
 is the engine of the
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 since it ensures
peace
Use synonyms
 in the
world
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.
For instance
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, European countries, set up after the second
world
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 war sustainable and reliable economic relationships in order to
eastablich
Correct your spelling
establish
 viable diplomatic links, which induced
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great development in numerous sectors
such
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 as art, sports and mainly
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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. The second reason why asserting that
globalisation
Use synonyms
 is a deterrent would be insane
,
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apply
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 is that it establishes a global market, which is ineluctably lucrative for states. Indeed, countries are capable of exporting commodities to a wide portion of customers throughout the
world
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, by reason of
globalisation
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.
Furthermore
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, governments are
also
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 able to carry out local deficiencies by importing products they are in need of
such
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 as nourishment. A prime example is European nations that acquire fossil fuels from Middle Eastern countries for a convenient price.
Therefore
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, they are able to produce energy to run their factories and improve their economy. In conclusion, it is crystal clear that individuals who fight against
globalisation
Use synonyms
 are in the way of progress as
this
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 phenomenon is the cornerstone of
peace
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 between nations
in addition
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 to the fact that it boosts
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on how globalisation promotes peace in more detail, perhaps with specific examples of conflict resolution or cooperative international projects.
coherence and cohesion
Review the spelling of 'development' and ensure consistency in phrasing, for instance, 'by reason of globalisation' could be simplified.
task achievement
You may want to include a counter-argument or address the criticisms against globalisation to strengthen your position further.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and develops coherent arguments supporting that stance.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each present a distinct point, and an effective conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
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