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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activites at one social centre in melbourne, australia for the period 2000 to 2020

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activites at one social centre in melbourne, australia for the period 2000 to 2020
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The chart illustrates the number of people
for
Change preposition
apply
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participating in several activities at a social centre in Australia in 20 years. It is obvious that
participants
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 film club are always
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 among all activities. There are over 60 people.
However
Linking Words
, there is a huge drop of around 25
participants
Use synonyms
 from 2005 to 2020 for the
club
Capitalize word
Club
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 of
amateur dramatics
Correct your spelling
Amateur Dramatics
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. For table tennis, it has slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in
participants
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2005, and the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 increased highly from around 20 to 55 in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years.
Also
Linking Words
, there is a
gradually
Change the word
gradual
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 increase from zero to 20
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
participants
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 musical
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
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 from 2005 to 2020. For martial arts, there is a stable change every 5 years from a rise or a drop of 5
participants
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a rise in
participants
Use synonyms
 for all activities from 2020 to 2020, except for amateur dramatics.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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