IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?

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In recent years, many countries have experienced
increase
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an increase
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 in crime rates and
eventually
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eventually,
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 it has become a major public concern.
However
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, effective solutions can be
implimented
Correct your spelling
implemented
 at both individual and societal levels to combat
this
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 growing crisis.
This
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 essay will explore the various scenarios of
this
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 topic and demonstrate the viewpoint with logical narration. One of the main contributors
in
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to
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this
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 rise of criminal activities is the socioeconomic factors that
creates
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create
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 a significant difference in people's outlook towards their
life
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lives
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. The unemployment rates and poverty levels have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 connection with the criminal incidence. These situations can make an individual helpless and unpredictable with their actions.
As a result
Linking Words
, they might get used to doing immoral activities like thefts, violence and in worse cases, murders as well.
Thus
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, it seems logical that
surge
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the surge
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 in the crime rates has
majorly
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been majorly
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 influenced by socioeconomic factors. To address
this
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 issue,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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governments and organizations should come forward with more practical solutions.
For example
Linking Words
, creating job
oppertunities
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opportunities
 can help minimize
the
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apply
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unemployment in
the
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apply
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society, not only that by providing
aids
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aid
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 to people from poor financial backgrounds and intitating more
soical
Correct your spelling
social
well fare
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welfare
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 programs can
also
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 build a better standard of life. Because of
this
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, people might feel
comfartable
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comfortable
 and secure in their lifestyle.
Moreover
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, the government should ensure education opportunities are
accessable
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accessible
 to everyone, even in
the
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apply
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remote areas. Because
,
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apply
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 lack of guidance and
nurishment
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nourishment
 from
young
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a young
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 age may
results
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result
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 in poor choices in lives that could shift their whole future.
Hence
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, free education, scholarships and free meals should be
intitated
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initiated
 in
the
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apply
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schools and colleges. In conclusion, there are
plethora
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a plethora
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 of reasons for the rise in criminal incidence,
primarly
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primarily
primary
lead
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led
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 by social and economic conditions.
This
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 is a pressing issue that requires careful consideration and proactive steps. By adopting
measure
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measures
show examples
 like boosting education and
awerness amoung
Correct your spelling
awareness among
 the community we can build a more safer
environmnet
Correct your spelling
environment
.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing socioeconomic factors, you could mention specific studies or statistics that highlight their impact on crime rates.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are clearly grouped by ideas. Use linking phrases to connect your thoughts more smoothly within and between paragraphs.
language
Please check the spelling and word choice for accuracy. For example, 'implimented' should be 'implemented', 'oppertunities' should be 'opportunities', and 'comfartable' should be 'comfortable'.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the causes of crime as well as potential solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You have laid out your ideas in a logical order and made a good attempt at linking them together.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic factors
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • criminal activities
  • job creation
  • skills training
  • educational reforms
  • substance abuse
  • community engagement
  • law enforcement
  • public safety
  • rehabilitation
  • addiction prevention
  • social disintegration
  • family structures
  • corruption
  • collective responsibility
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