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Writing Samples
Band 6

With internet improvements, people can share views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is this a good or a bad thing? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Internet
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 enables
the
Correct article usage
apply
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connectivity among
people
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, one of the strengths of the
Internet
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 is allowing
people
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 to publish their thoughts about the products that they bought.
This
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 attitude has several advantages, but the strongest one is that
people
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 can acquire a certain amount of knowledge about the product whether it matches with customer's expectations or not.
On the other hand
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, it forces traders to increase customer satisfaction, since they are in the consciousness that they are getting evaluated by the
buyers
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. I strongly believe that it is a very beneficial enhancement, which should be supported. On the one hand,
people
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 usually want to buy a product which best fits their requirements. So, in
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 world, information spreads very quickly among individuals, and it plays a significantly pivotal role in online buys.
Furthermore
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, it is a well-known fact that many online
sellers
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 scam a high number of
people
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 in previous years. Individuals obtain some
trust
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 in online shopping with the
internet
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 advancements.
For instance
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, in 2003, Jeff Bezos introduced Amazon, which had a paramount innovation in the website, called product comments. So,
thereafter
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,
people
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 could share their opinions about the products that they bought. A study, which is conducted by Stanford University, indicates that after the introduction of Amazon online
trust
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 increased by 62%,
thus
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people
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 are more tend to buy items online. Not only increasing customer
trust
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 but
also
Linking Words
sellers
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' behaviour
is
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changed, and
sellers
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 understood the importance of
the
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apply
show examples
internet
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 comments.
Thus
Linking Words
, they changed their approaches to customers,
for example
Linking Words
, nowadays, traders highly tend to give gifts to
buyers
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 to increase their satisfaction. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen especially in local traders, they frequently use gifts as a promotion, because they are in the awareness of online evaluation. They try to make
buyers
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 happy, which was not a need in past decades. In conclusion, since we are in the digital era, the
internet
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 influenced our lives directly, particularly in online shopping. It is important to emphasize that online thought sharing has become a usual attitude, which affects both
buyers
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' and
sellers
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' behaviours. It made
sellers
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 become more customer-centred and increased customers'
trust
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 in
internet
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 shopping.

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point in your argument is more thoroughly developed and supported with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion. Using more linking phrases could help.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the main topic and provides a strong opinion on the issue, showing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples and statistics, such as the mention of Amazon and the study by Stanford University, which supports the points made overall.
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