IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Governments always have to decide how to spend their money, and one big question is whether they should spend more on
railways
Use synonyms
 or roads. I think
railways
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 are more important and governments should focus on them because they are better for the environment and can help reduce traffic problems. First of all,
railways
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 are much better for the environment than roads. Trains can carry many
people
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 at the same time, and
this
Linking Words
 means less pollution compared to
cars
Use synonyms
 and trucks.
For example
Linking Words
, one train can take hundreds of
cars
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 off the road, which reduces air pollution.
Also
Linking Words
, trains can use electricity, which is cleaner than petrol or diesel.
This
Linking Words
 is very important because climate change is a big problem today, and
railways
Use synonyms
 can help fight it. In 2010 the Ministry of
Railways
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 (Japan)
discoverd
Correct your spelling
discovered
 a considerable problem in
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
show examples
 which was polluted substantially by 70 % of their vehicle "
cars
Use synonyms
",so they came up with
implementation
Add an article
the implementation
an implementation
show examples
 of
construction
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the construction
show examples
 of
railways
Use synonyms
. Another reason is that
railways
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 can reduce traffic jams in cities. Many cities have too many
cars
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, and
this
Linking Words
 causes a lot of problems like air pollution and wasted time.
Railways
Use synonyms
, especially metro systems, can move many
people
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 quickly and efficiently.
For example
Linking Words
, in cities like Tokyo, the metro system is so good that most
people
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 don't need to use
cars
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.
This
Linking Words
 makes life easier for everyone and helps the economy because
people
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 can get to work faster. In conclusion, I believe governments should spend more money on
railways
Use synonyms
 because they are better for the environment and can reduce traffic.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay's clarity, make sure that each paragraph clearly supports your overall argument. Ensure that your ideas relate back to the main question throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Integrate more specific examples, statistics, or studies to bolster your arguments. This will enhance your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear opinion on the topic and supported it with relevant arguments, which gives a focused direction to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear introduction and conclusion; this helps guide the reader through your arguments effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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