Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Spending money
for
Change preposition
on
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building
railways
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may be an excellent idea which has a chance of being popular in the future. That's why
this
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essay agrees with it.
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
essay,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
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firstly
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about why using
railways
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is beneficial for our health,
then
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added
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add
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how it reduces spending money on materials. Using
railways
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can diminish greenhouse gases and increase clean air which contributes to rising our nutrients and lifetime. If we decrease automobile and other transport, it will have a global change over the world.
Also
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, after deliting jeep make popular walking activities which may help most people with obesity and scoliosis .
For example
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, in the past, less than 10 Americans had obesity or other issues with health. In factories, people prefer to use a lot of materials for creating various
auto
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automobiles
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.
Moreover
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, some of these details are so rare and expensive.
However
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,
railways
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cost isn't a lot of recourse and money.
In addition
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to
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apply
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instead
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of using resources on unmeaningful auto, scientists can use them to improve the world and
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
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diverse places.
Due to
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its instrumental in keeping and saving up materials.
For instance
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, NASA and other rich companies use
a large amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
large amounts
a large amount
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of resources to create something that can improve our lives like a greenhouse. In conclusion,
railways
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can make our life harder but healthier because nowadays most people don't prefer to do activities and look after themself.
along with
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that we have limited
recourses
Correct your spelling
resources
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on our planet and using them for cars will be a detrimental problem in the next years.

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task achievement
Try to clearly articulate your main argument in the introduction. A clearer thesis statement will help guide your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that every point in your essay directly supports your thesis. Some ideas, while relevant, could be more clearly linked to your main argument about railways.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and transitions between ideas should be smoother for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Improve your use of linking words to help connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar and word choice. There are minor inaccuracies that can be improved to enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic and attempt to provide supporting reasons, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
Your discussion of health benefits related to reduced automobile use shows an awareness of broader effects, which is an interesting angle.
task achievement
You attempt to provide examples to support your points, indicating a good effort to present relevant details.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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