IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is stated that the states ought to allocate more funding to railways than the
roads
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 trains have more capacity to carry people or goods,
as well as
Linking Words
, they are considered fast,
roads
Use synonyms
 are the main mediums, which are not merely used by automobiles, but
also
Linking Words
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals or every living creature. One of the major reasons that trains hold
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value is that they are bigger and faster in comparison with automobiles.
While
Linking Words
 10 cars or 20 trucks are needed to carry a specific product, which might take days to reach its destination, 2-3 wagons on a renovated railroad can do it within only a few hours. Obviously,
this
Linking Words
For example
Linking Words
, when Dagny Taggart wanted to
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 the oranges from Florida to Colorado, she chose to use the repaired John Galt railway considering the short shelf life of the oranges.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
roads
Use synonyms
 have always been necessary in human history. Aside from their usage in trade, they are the grounds that comprise our walking and riding areas. Poorly established
roads
Use synonyms
 can damage not only vehicles on them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 every living creature, who utilizes them. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, during heavy rain or flood, if a road has not been built under required standards, it may collapse.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 fall, people or animals might be
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
 injured. In conclusion, railways outweigh the other transportation mediums in terms of capacity and speed.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they require more attention from the government.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
roads
Use synonyms
are play
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a huge role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 humans
due to
Linking Words
 their daily usage. In my opinion, state officials should make fair measurements and only allocate money on railroads not more than what is required.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve your essay structure by clearly stating your position in the introduction. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples and explanations to support your ideas. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay to fix spelling and grammar mistakes, which can distract the reader from your ideas.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument. This shows good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided a specific example to support your point about railways, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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